Pasqua and Stanicek

He's come back...and he's VERY angry...

2007-11-08T09:18:00.000-05:00

News!

2007-10-26T16:43:00.000-04:00

I haven't posted on this blog for quite some time. Not sure why I lost the urge...I guess the thrill was gone (as that crappy blues dude used to say) and it never came back.

I'm making a special guest appearance to congratulate Stanicek on passing the BAR. Sure, the news of his BAR success comes at a horrible time, but I guess there's a silver lining. Now if UGA can somehow pull off a miracle in Jacksonville, it'll probably be a top 5 weekend in his life. So jig like you haven't jigged before boyyo, you deserve it.

Picture this...replace Chris Leak with a picture of Stanicek. Now replace the Championship trophy with the bar exam. Now replace Florida Gator shi* with UGA paraphernalia. Now replace the confetti with beer spraying everywhere. MMM...what a sight. Way to go TK...YOU'RE #1 according to all of us and the BCS (Bar Champtionship Series).

Just fricking...AWESOME...

2007-10-18T16:38:00.000-04:00

Joe Torre says, "Go F yourself Yankees". Just a fantastic and ballsy move on his part. Now I don't know what side of the fence I come down on the "Is Torre a great manager" issue - but I do believe that he is the best fit for managing the Yankees. You don't just need baseball know-how there you have to deal with 1) hellish media, 2) obnoxious fans, 3) unrealistic expectations, 4) 24-7 scrutiny...so basically like coaching football for Georgia - except instead of 1 million loyal followers you have 456 million worldwide.

Mob scene at Yankee Stadium just because Torre called for a bunt in the second inning against the Royals on June 13th, 2004.

I wish I could have been there when they said - "here you go Joseph - one year, incentive laced deal...if you make the World Series you're back for another year" and he just said "World Series this" and flipped a lit match onto the board room table on which he had secretly spilled 2.6 gallons of gasoline...it ignites, he turns, dons some shades, then walks to the hallway as the executives burst into flame and tells a passing youngster "now that's what I call a hot streak". Yep. That's how it went down.

The scene in the Yankee's executive offices in Tampa, seconds after Torre walked out

In other news - the Indians better win tonight or I'm going to jump into a vat of boiling peanut oil. Check out that and other observations in this month's "Tim Kellys overreactions to seemingly insignificant events".

Picks, Round 2

2007-10-09T16:40:00.000-04:00

So I OWN the American League and whiffed on the National League...sue me...the D-Backs and Rockies?! Ouch. I'm sure, somewhere, Bud Selig is weeping over all the ratings numbers he has lost. Phils-Cubs would have been choked in drama, intrigue, nationwide appeal...and we get D-Backs-Rockies. Now for me - I don't really care, I just want to see a good series...I can appreciate pretty much any matchup. I have my favorites (Troy "Little Cal" Tulowitzki) and I have my enemies (Eric "Hey is that a camera that I'm not on?!" Byrnes), so I'll be just fine. But I can see where people will tune out, hell, Arizona is pulling an Atlanta and hasn't even sold out Games 1 and 2 yet! When your own team has only been to the playoffs twice and you can't sell out - you know your team lacks appeal. Anyway - on wit da picks.

Indians over Red Sox in 7 - now you may think this is a biased pick because I think the Red Sox are a festering pile of runny, noxious, repellant bodily discharge but that's only partially true. The Indians will be tossing four games of CC and Fausto at the Red Sox and no matter how good Beckett is...I see Beckett v. CC being a split...Fausto takes his two over Dice-K, and then it's just a matter of Westbrook or Byrd winning one out of 3...and Athens' own Jake Westbrook is up to that challenge. Tribe prevails over the forces of evil.

D-Backs over Rockies in 6 - I have picked against the Rockies at every turn this season -said they would lose out on a playoff spot, said they had NO chance of beating Peavy in the one game playoff, was POSITIVE J-Roll and Ryan Howard were going to club them like little bastard baby seals...and yet they're still here. Now they go up against the D-Backs, a team with fans that apparently couldn't give a flip about them and with a roster that barely anyone outside of Buster Olney's circle of friends knows. But I'm nothing if not consistent...so I'm going with the D-Backs...and again I'm going to say its because of pitching. Webb...Livan...and Doug Davis...yeah, I just said Doug Davis is an asset - you got a problem with that? Compare that with Francis, Jimenez and Morales and I got to go with the staff comprised of a Cy Young winner and a former NLCS and World Series MVP. I know Jimenez and Francis have looked strong down the stretch but this run has to come to an end...right?

So there it is....MLB and Fox's worst nightmare...an Indians-D-Backs World Series.

On another note - I stopped putting pictures in the blog - does it really make a difference? I used to try to find funny little pictures and put in funny little captions, but it got to be time consuming and really...I just didn't want to do it anymore. Let me know via the poll on the right if you want pictures back.

Chalk one up for the good guys....

2007-10-04T10:11:00.001-04:00

What's the #1 restaurant in Atlanta?

One in Athens.

Oh sweet Lord?!

2007-10-03T15:16:00.000-04:00

This was a bad idea in 1994...what makes it a good idea NOW?

And so it begins...

2007-10-03T10:07:00.000-04:00

when I'm not fuming over Atlanta's unconscionable water conservation plans I'm watching PLAYOFF BASEBALL BAY-BEE! My pennant predictions allllmost were on the money except for the fact that they were mostly wrong. The Mets collapsed, the D-Backs held on and the Padres got a gift in the 7th inning of the one game playoff only to get hosed in the 13th (so I guess it evened out). But hey! I did nail the entire AL and the Cubs...note: please forget about the fact that the AL was mostly decided when I made my picks. Anyway - on to my playoff picks:

ALDS:
Red Sox over Angels - it pains me....PAINS me to pick this but hey it looks pretty much like a lock. The Angels are banged up, the Red Sox have the pitching to dominate a short series and the hitting to get by. I would say the Red Sox have the edge in playoff experience but after Epstein dismantled the 04 squad its pretty much Schilling, Ortiz, Man-Ram, Varitek...OK they have the experience. This pick in no way alters the fact that I pray each and every day that the Red Sox lose every game from now until Major League Baseball is forced to contract them.

Indians over Yankees - as Pasqua and I were saying yesterday - it's not that we really dislike the guy but wouldn't it be great if this "A-Rod sucks in the postseason" story continues forever. He will be the greatest hitter that all his teams hated EVER....Yankees hate him, Rangers hate him...OK the Mariners like him but they are West Coast pansies. Anyway - got to love Sabathia and Carmona pitching 4 out of 5 of these games and as for that other Indians starter - well that would be Madison County's own Jake Westbrook...going in Game 3, 6:30pm IN Yankee Stadium against Roger Clemens! WOOOO-WEEE! That's drama

NLDS
Phillies over Rockies - I would like to see this Rockies Cinderella story continue but let's be honest...Jeff Francis? Josh Fogg?....and....they don't know...that's right -the Rockies have no idea who is going to be their third starter for this series. Not a good sign - especially when you are staring down at Cole Hamels for two of these possibly 5 games.

Cubs over D-Backs - basically I am picking the Cubs for two reasons - 1) the Cubs are a great story - win or lose and 2) I DETEST Eric Byrnes - not because he's a shameless self-promoting "dive for balls even when I could just walk up and grab them", "do crazy runs and dances on the base-paths for a infield fly dinkus, but because he was a solid if not pretty dang good player EVERYWHERE he went....EXCEPT the Baltimore Orioles. The O's in the middle of an almost-maybe-could be in contention season traded for Byrnes at the All-Star Break...how did ole Eric "Hey can I be on Fox? I'll let my dog drown" Byrnes do? Glad you asked - he batted .192 with as many homeruns as errors...3. I hope he and the D-Backs make an early exit and Eric is forced to eat sheep testicles during the 7th inning stretch of the NLCS as part of Fox's new "Fear Factor"-style humorous vignettes.

NLCS picks to come when all of these predictions are verified on the field....

Words....escape me....

2007-10-03T10:02:00.001-04:00

Ahh...blissful ignorance....

MAN!

2007-10-02T15:07:00.000-04:00

I love baseball. If you watched that one-game "playoff" (technically its the regular season) last night you would know what I mean. It was like eating a big plate full of Old Bay steamed shrimp and fresh corn on the cob, like sitting out on your back porch drinking High Life and cracking into some fresh steamed blue crabs, like hanging out with your friends and eating some fresh steamed oysters...I think you're catching the drift. I mean I was tired as a UGA tailgater after a night game because they were forced to wake up in the pre-dawn hours to stake their spot...but still - I couldn't turn away. So...some thoughts:

Holliday didn't touch the bag - and I have no idea why home plate ump Tim McClellan didn't call him safe immediately and then just casually did after Barrett already was scrambling back to the then screaming in pain runner. Why didn't he just do it immediately? I know he's notorious for delayed calls but still...
I have absolutely no idea whether Atkins' hit was a homerun - it seems like it caromed an awfully long way for just hitting the top of the padded fence but still - I never saw definitive proof that it was O-U-T gone. John was basing his call of no homerun on the fact that the lady next to the wheel chair was upset after the ball ricocheted back out. My answer to that is that she was simply sad that she didn't catch the ball.
But that brings me to my next point - what was up with that lady? Was she using the wheelchair? And if so she was pretty spry in trying to catch that ball...was this just a woman who uses wheelchairs like the fat people in Kroger...you know the people that run over your foot in their Rascals and then when they really need to get their on sale Jiff get out of the chair and walk all the way down the aisle? Can someone find out what this woman's story was? Kudos to John for pointing out that on multiple occasions Joe Simpson referred to her as "that gentleman behind the wall".
Back to baseball: Jake Peavy BLOWS when it counts - in three games (two post season, one tiebreaker) he has pitched 16 1/3 IPs and surrendered 29 Hs and 19 ERs. That ERA puts him somewhere north of 11.00 and would certainly not help those of you in a Yahoo Fantasy Baseball tiebreaker...yeah Josh - you know I'm looking at you.
Trevor Hoffman may now only be remembered for his titanic chokes - the All-Star game and now TWO times in the last THREE games he has the opportunity to clinch for the Padres and blows it both times, once at the hands of the son of the greatest Padre ever no less. Yeah, he was probably the best closer in the NL over the past 15 years but does anyone 1) think he is anywhere CLOSE to as good as Mariano and 2) as Pasqua told me today - really think this guy is first ballot HOF material?

So there you have it - if the postseason is anywhere NEAR as exciting as last night's game I may have a coronary by the NLCS.

Predictions....

2007-09-20T17:18:00.000-04:00

So the Pennant Race is HEATING UP! Who would have thunk it would be this good a few weeks ago. So quickly here's how it will shakedown, methinks:

AL East
1) Yankees
WC) Red Sox

-Of course this is the fan in me - I am praying ever dang night that the Red Sox lose this division...why? Because I hate the Red Sox and yes I know it will cause more whining Red Sox fans to pipe up and say they are cursed again but you know what, I'm fine with that as long as they are all in agony and know that I am laughing at them. I'll deal with their incessant whining when all of us are sitting at home watching the World Series together.

AL Central
1) Indians

-A no brainer. Tigers are kaput.

AL West
1) Angels

-Ditto.

NL East
1) Mets

- As bad as it looked yesterday at this time - a win last night and a loss by the Phils went MILES towards getting them the division crown. Now they're up 2 1/2 with 10 to play - they'll win enough to get the job done and the Phils are goin' home.

NL Central
1) Cubs

- I would love, LOVE for the Brewers to win this...it's my attachment to hard-luck franchises I guess...but now that Sheets is gimpy there is no way even Prince Fielder can carry a team throwing Suppan, Bush, Capuano, Vargas, Gallardo (even though he's been pretty dang good) and whoever else they find in the scrap heap. Unbelievably...it's the pitching of Ted Lilly and Jason Marquis that pull the Cubs through.

NL West
1) Padres
WC) D-Backs

- Padres are ONNN FIRE! Hell, even Bret Tomko is pitching well for them...BRET TOMKO! And if you've played fantasy baseball and been seduced by the Tomko siren song - you know how astounding that is. The young, upstart D-backs fade.

Believe me...

2007-09-20T17:14:00.000-04:00

To be an O's fan is the worst...OK, maybe they are in the same boat as the Pirates, Royals, D-Rays, et al...but definitely worse than the Red Sox, Mariners, Yankees, Braves, etc.

Pasqua sends along this killer article highlighting the issue - you be the judge.

Podcast #3...Now carbon neutral!!

2007-09-14T09:51:00.001-04:00

Here it is...the "Remember to stop eating meat" Podcast. Enjoy!

Eat less meat - save the world...

2007-09-13T14:47:00.001-04:00

I'm sold. I already eat at the Grit once a week....so I will only meat when called for at UGA tailgates as feast upon the mascots of our soon to be vanquished foes.

And in no way did I post this just to make some of those that I tailgate with angry.

Remember to recycle!

So true....

2007-09-12T17:03:00.000-04:00

This is an interesting, if a little obvious, story.

Sure there were money issues but Scheurholz always seems to make things works when he wants to make them work and he just didn't seem to want to go the distance to make sure Tommy stayed around to finish his career with the Braves. The thing was - Glavine wasn't asking for a ridiculous salary when free agency rolled around a few years ago - less than what Smoltz had already signed for....but the Braves backed down, the Mets took over, and the pennants stopped being hung at Turner. Definitely one of the few huge mistakes Scheurholz has made during his tenure in Atlanta.

Podcast and such...

2007-09-06T10:37:00.000-04:00

Here's the new podcast...ruminations on Red Dawn, Robocop and some shocking secrets about Tent City residents!

Athens Local Commercials...Learn 'em, Love 'em...

2007-09-05T17:09:00.000-04:00

Thanks to Athens World for spurring this little post....I have to hand it to the local merchants here in town...they put out some freaky little commercials. From the hilarious to the hilariously awful, my heart always leaps with excitement when I sense one of these bad boys coming on. Sadly, many of the best have not been posted on the YouTube, but below I've assembled all that I could find. If only the, I'm sure, techno-savvy folks at Alewine Salvage and Wrecking would post their "Junk Monkey" spot...change...your...life...with a twist ending that not even Shyamalan could have seen coming.

[One more notable omission - the junkie ad for Musician's warehouse ("he got hooked on the savings...my son's a discount junkie!!") - I love the acting in that spot - ten times more convincing than anything Josh Hartnett has done]

1) Music Exchange - this is the new spot, unfortunately the old spot with the cartoon band playing the ad out has been dispensed with...fortunately the timeless jingle remains.

2) Uncle Otto's (Formerly Achim's K-Bob) - Classic song, classic style. I dare you to get this jingle out of your head.

3) Vision Video - good quality - stirring narrative - happy ending - I'm not ashamed to admit I cried for several hours after this was through.

4) Club Oasis - have to admit I have never seen this ad nor heard of the establishment but good lord...did you see the cash that kid is flashing? AND it's named after a favorite band of mine (it is named in loving tribute of the Brothers Gallagher correct?)!

5) Krystal - doesn't technically count as a local commercial but still - you have to respect Krystal going for the not-at-all subtle lesbian crack at the opening. And as an interesting sidebar - I was asked to be in one of these commercials during filming last year and flat-out rejected those SOBs because I can't think of many things more repellent than the menu offerings at Krystal.

And finally....

An REM video - just because it was lumped in with all the other Athens commercials when I did the search and when presented with a kickass REM video you always got to play it.

Maaaybeee...I'll give Bill Simmons another chance...

2007-09-05T16:59:00.000-04:00

Nah. Not after his senseless, pointless, ridiculous column about Cal Ripken. But still...I suspended my lifetime ban of all things Simmons-related after spotting "Red Sox" and "bandwagon" in the headlines of one of articles...too perfect to pass up and maybe he admits, as I've been claiming for the past 5 years (even BEFORE 2004...it was only a matter of time before the Red Sox won a World Series) that it was pointless for Red Sox fans to hate the Yankees because they ARE the Yankees...and lo and behold, he did not dissapoint:

"...we've kinda sorta maybe turned into the Yankees. Like them, we spend more money than everyone else. Like them, we make expensive roster mistakes (Drew, Lugo, Matt Clement, Edgar Rentería, et al.) without any repercussions. Like them, we're detested by opposing fans because we invade their stadiums and taunt their teams. And like them, we're sucking in all the soulless bandwagon kids who pick their favorite teams in first grade based on winning percentages and superstars."

Ahhh...sweet vindication. The mouthpiece of the Red Sox nation freely admits they are the Yankees. I am at peace once more.

Now you'll excuse me if I go see how the Orioles will humiliate themselves today...I don't know maybe B-Rob, Tejada, Millar, Hernandez and Mora all collide on a pop-up knocking them all unconcious forcing Garrett Olson, Brian Burres, or whatever other horrific starter they have throwing tonight to chase the runner all the way around the bases in Keystone Cop fashion ultimately resulting in baseball's first infield inside the park homerun.

Amen brutha.....

2007-08-31T13:23:00.001-04:00

"I do think that in the state of Alabama," says Crimson Tide diehard and "Forest Gump" author Winston Groom, "anybody planning a wedding is gonna get out a schedule, because the worst damn thing you can do is have your wedding on the Alabama-Auburn game or the Tennessee game, because nobody will come to your wedding. They had one here like that, but they put up a big old huge TV at the place where they had the reception. One of those big giant things, about eight feet tall."
He laughs.
Don't plan your wedding during the Auburn-Alabama game: These folks have a previous engagement.
"As a matter of fact, in the state of Alabama, I wouldn't even plan a funeral when Alabama is playing Auburn," he says. "You can die, but you're gonna wait 'til Monday."

Welcome to my home state....

2007-08-31T12:56:00.000-04:00

Maryland - Where we eat imported caviar off the backs of our hired help, drink the extracted tears of Buddhist monks at tailgates and use buffalo nickels for skeet shooting....ahhh...what a state.

Greatest...column....ever....

2007-08-30T13:16:00.000-04:00

Jim Caple...you are my hero...if only they made posters of you because one would surely be now hanging over my bed.

He's back...

2007-08-30T10:15:00.001-04:00

The AJC kills two birds with one stone with this picture by 1) pumping up the UGA fanbase by re-publishing Pasqua and our tailgate on the front page of its website and 2) offers police a great lead and a potential suspect in that serial molester case (look under "More Headlines").

Tent City can't BUY publicity like this....THIS IS TERRIFIC! So please take note, if you don't like Papparazzi or the constant "pop" of flash bulbs, or parties crammed full of A-list celebrities you may want to avoid our tailgate this season. On second thought, if we don't know you don't even bother stopping by...we are the Studio 54 of tailgates and you're just too dang fat.

And you thought it was over....

2007-08-29T09:41:00.000-04:00

after last year's jaw-dropping cliffhanger in which Jmac was hurled off an exploding airplane, seemingly plummeting to his death with the strains of "I seeeee the light" playing softly in the background....

Stole the climax of this timeless classic you say? More like lovingly borrowed.

but NO....IT'S BACK!! A second season of The Cover Two podcasts!!! Enjoy my minions.

How about a little love...

2007-08-28T14:46:00.000-04:00

For Athens' downtown scene? From what I hear the criteria for this prestigous award was somewhat lax (see: internet voting) but still - good for the Globe...now where did 11pm and later at the Broad Street Taco Stand rate on this list? Surely stately barkeep Chuck deserves some credit!?

Watch this...

2007-08-28T12:53:00.000-04:00

Because it is funny...

And because I want to see if I have figured out how to post a video.

How about this logo....

2007-08-24T16:06:00.000-04:00

for striking fear into the hearts of your opponents?

I DEMAND the O's go back to this logo which was used during the 60s.

This looks like the kind of mascot that will lay waste to opponents over nine innings and then, in the throws of a drug-induced bender, feast upon the flesh of the vanquished and then torch the stadium...only to wake up the next morning clueless as to what happened the night before and puzzled as to why he holds the severed head of Jason Varitek in his left hand.

Update...

2007-08-24T13:33:00.000-04:00

David Ortiz's (is it "Ortiz'"? I have no idea. I hate ridiculous punctuation and grammar rules almost as much as the Red Sox) car goes unsold. I suppose the steroid swilling, non-fielding Ortiz will have to find some other way to finance his newest automobile purchase...may I suggest using some of your TENS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

Alright - that's all. I shan't speak of it again.

And I thought I knew humilation....

2007-08-23T11:31:00.000-04:00

After almost a decade of sub .500 finishes...but the Orioles continue to come up with new ways to emasculate its fan base. A few of my favorite tidbits and quotes from the game I'm pretty sure...unfortunately....that no one will forget:

----------------------

Ranger Marlon Byrd, who hit a grand slam in the victory, said afterward, "You start to feel bad for the guys on their team."

Roch Kubatko from the Baltimore Sun - No matter how many times I write it or say it, the absurdity nearly overwhelms me. 30-3. Who knew Daniel Cabrera would end up being the most effective pitcher? And no, I don't believe the Rangers were piling on, though the on-side kick was a bit much
The Rangers reliever got a save! A SAVE!!! Though I will say the bottom half of the eight was tense - the O's loaded the bases and they were THIS close to cutting the lead down to 23.

---------------------------

It is down right sad when Marlon Byrd who couldn't even keep a job with the NATIONALS and is currently starting for the second worst team in the American League is SORRY for you. Oh lord.

What awful timing too - Trembley gets an extension after turning the club around this year - Bedard is positively lights out - the team is on the brink of making a run at +.500 and then...the a nuclear bomb in the form of guys named Vazquez, Saltala-whatever, Botts, Cruz and Murphy. Seriously - go look at the Rangers lineup from last night - I call bullsh*t if you knew anymore than 4, maybe 5 of their starters.

There are explanations I suppose for the meltdown - it was a doubleheader so Trembley didn't want to use too many relievers, plus the game was out of hand so we wasn't going to use his go-to guys...therefore, the sacrificial lambs came in - poor rehabilitated Paul Shuey and Rob Bell. They should get a purple heart from the organization for this.

Have I told you lately how much I hate....

2007-08-22T18:19:00.000-04:00

THE RED SOX?! I hate them...and I know that is a strong word but I just can't find another term to encapsulate the venom that bubbles up into the back of my throat each time I see their fricking uniforms, stare slack-jawed at Manny Ramirez as he approaches the plate so unkepmt and covered in so much filth that he looks like he just emerged from an overturned port-o-let (Speaking of...can we all come to a consensus on what to call those things - is it port-o-let? Port-o-john? Port-o-potty?

This has plagued me my entire life - what if I'm in a "Port-o-let" crowd and call it a port-o-potty - all of a sudden I'm a teeny weeny little baby who needs to go "potty". And what if I'm in the port-o-let crowd and call it a port-o-john - all of a sudden I'm Al Bundy lookin' for the "john" and "sumptin' ta read" and all the port-o-letters cast disparaging looks down upon me shunning me to a life of shame. But what if I'm in the port-o-potty crowd and call it a "port-o-let" NOW I'm some stuffed-shirt perched in the Ivory Tower and most likely seconds away from a broken High Life bottle to the jugular...so please people - let's come to an agreement and solve this global crisis once and for all)...

WOW - I certainly got off track...anyway - like I was saying - I hate the Red Sox. And now this comes along - what a di*k that Papi. The guy is so strapped for cash that he is forced to play on people's emotions and devoted worship to sport and drive up the price of his crappy car SOOOOO...he can BUY ANOTHER, BETTER CAR! Not give the money to charity...no, no...that would be too decent for a Red Sock. He's bilking fans out of cash because he's tired of his old ride. What a dill weed.

And in other "Red Sox are pigs" news - Curt Schilling is desparately trying to whore himself out to whatever witless, cash and fan starved club will have after he becomes a free agent this year.

You know I would say that I wish the Red Sox would lose every game the rest of this year however I know that the Red Sox fans would just whine, bitch and moan so much about it, I would hate them even more...they'd lament "The Curse is back! Oh woe is us! We will only be the second best team in baseball every year with the second biggest payroll and in the playoffs each and every year but might not win the World Series every time we are in it!! Oh the horror!" Shut it Red Sox fans - try being an Oriole fan for a decade and you'll know what pain is.

Mark those calenders boys and girls...

2007-08-21T14:10:00.001-04:00

Cause R.E.M.'s got new goodness for you to buy. And yes I already have most of these songs live in some form or another but you know what? Don't care. Slap R.E.M. on a book and I'll buy it. Call your new flavor of Gatorade "Electrolite" and throw a picture of Stipe, Mills and Buck on there and I'll buy a case. Call me a sucker. Call me a patsy. Just don't call me "Little Timmy" cause I hate that.

Shhhh....it's a secret...

2007-08-21T14:00:00.000-04:00

So you might have noticed that we haven't gotten around to posting in ohhh...I don't know...let's just say "awhile". Well now that all that law school business is out of the way I figured it was time to going back to what I do adequately to slightly less than adequately...write completely pointless paragraphs on these computering screens about baseball and UGA and movies and what-not so literally ones of you can read them.

And, yes, I do realize that hardly anyone checks this anymore and you know what I say to that? Good! Good riddance! We've cleared out the deadweight, streamlined the readership and now its "damn the mother f-in' torpedoes, full speed ahead!" So sit back and relax cause I'll be back to posting semi to maybe even just plain regularly.

First up...my complex and thorough evaluation of what each and every MLB playoff contender has to do if they hope to make it to the World Ser...hey! Where are you going!? Dammit!

Umm

2007-04-03T15:32:00.001-04:00

This is utterly amazing.

Bash it Like Beckham

2007-03-29T16:18:00.000-04:00

The legend of Gordon "That Guy Who Plays That Outfield Song That I Love As His At the Plate Music - You Know the Song - it's Like, Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Bah - man, Great Song" Beckham grows....

Now - if we can just get him to work on that unwiedly nickname.

Lookout Oscar

2007-03-22T14:45:00.000-04:00

Looks like Shooter is going to be a huge hit and there's rumors of Oscar nominations for several categories. Don't take my word, see for yourself. I knew Mark Wahlberg was talented, but wow!!! Como se dice "Opening Night"?

This is a warning to Shrek 3...lookout, your status as the #1 Summer Blockbuster is in trouble.

Triceps. Dirk Diggler. Guns.

What are 3 things that can't make a movie miss?

Help us Bruce Dickinson!

2007-03-22T13:28:00.000-04:00

Al Gore testified on Capitol Hill yesterday about the impact and seriousness of global warming. Gore stated:

-------------------
"The planet has a fever," Gore said. "If your baby has a fever, you go to the doctor. If the doctor says you need to intervene here, you don't say, 'Well, I read a science fiction novel that told me it's not a problem.' If the crib's on fire, you don't speculate that the baby is flame retardant. You take action."
-------------------

The planet has a fever? Well then, as the great Doctor Professor King Poet Laureate Reverend Christopher Walken once said..."the only presecription is more cowbell".

DJ to the rescue!!!

2007-03-21T14:27:00.000-04:00

AWWWWW YEAHHHHHHHH. The only event that will make me a Falcons fan is one step closer to happening. We're one coke bust away from DJ being the starter for the Falcons. Can you imagine tailgating in Athens on a Saturday and then setting up shop the very next day in Atlanta wearing our UGA garb all over again?

roll that ankle. snap that leg. bust a knee. poop your pants. anything to get our boy in!!!!

College Baseball Tidbits

2007-03-20T16:34:00.000-04:00

Judging by the underwhelming response we have received from our baseball previews (both MLB and college) it is apparent that no one in the world cares what we think about baseball. But you know what - tough luck - we shall continue to write and you shall continue to not read and the world will spin and spin and spin and spin....

After UGA baseball got off to a sluggish 0-3 start against Oregon State things turned around somewhat on the strength of our pitching. The club took 2 of 3 from Purdue and was inching towards respectability when...they got swept by USC (the REAL one, not South Cack), and dropped 4 of 5 to Kennesaw State, Western Carolina and Gardner-Webb. THEN - BLAMMO - with 18-3 #20 Auburn coming to town the Dawgs get some clutch hits and continue to throw the snot out of the ball and come out of the weekend with a sweep. We go to Tennessee this weekend for another SEC series. Tennessee has struggled this year to a 13-9 record against less than stellar competition so this is a prime opportunity to score a few more Ws.
At least South Cack is consistent...seems even the baseball team is not immune to off the field transgressions.

Recruitment Update

2007-03-16T10:26:00.000-04:00

Rivals just released their Top 75 in-state players.

Mark my words...UGA is going to have a Top 5, possibly Top 3 class for 2008. So, with that piece of good news, who really cares about the upcoming season? Games are boring...it's the recruiting battles that actually mean something.

Although he gets on my nerves, it's pretty impressive that Bill Simmons kept an entertaining running diary for yesterday's first round games. Must be a hard life to get paid to watch basketball, drink, joke with your buddies and make an "article" about the comments they make. If you sense jealousy, it's because I'm jealous. Jealous as fudge.

NL West like a mutha!!!

2007-03-12T09:13:00.000-04:00

Stanicek’s NL West Preview

There were those that said the AL West preview was too long – not snappy enough – too many words – an abundance of letters – and so on. Those people were Pasqua and I because judging from the site meter we are the only ones that read this blog. Quite frankly I am ashamed of all you. But if my Dad taught me one thing it is how to peel and eat an orange while driving....if he taught me two things, it was give the masses what they want....so watch as I toss aside the shackles of wordiness...cast off the burden of length...the oppression of going on and on and on about virtually nothing just to fill up a page and marvel at my own brilliance...yessir, time to cut to the chase, right to the quick, snap to i.....

1) Los Angeles Dodgers
Lineup: LA’s lineup features an eclectic mix of the young and the old, the speedy and “the pace of a Merchant-Ivory film” slow. The top of the order (Furcal and Pierre) could conceivably steal upwards of 2,000 bases IF Juan Pierre can stay healthy and Furcal, sober. Add to that speed the veteran presence of on again, off again steroid abuser Luis Gonzalez, the surly but lovable Jeff Kent and the “Mike Hampton of hitters” in the oft-injured Nomar. Mix with young talent like Wilson Betemit, Andre Ethier, Russell Martin and Jason Repko and you got yourself an interesting little lineup.

Pitching: A strength for the Dodgers and I would definitely say one of the top 5 rotations in MLB. Lowe, Penny, Billingsley and now Schmidt? There hasn’t been this much talent in LA since the last time the cast of “Charles in Charge” had a cast reunion at the Applebee’s on Vine. The bullpen features the return of everyone’s favorite fantasy free-agent pickup, Takashi “Sushi on a Stick” Saito. Say what you will about him, that he has bad breath, that he can’t carry the tune to “Piano Man”...but the kid’s got the goods (100+ Ks in 75 IP).

2) San Diego Padres
Lineup: So much of me wanted to put the Friars at #1. I love that stadium even though it’s so large that if Babe Ruth played there he would have been the “Sultan of Slap Singles”....I like their new third baseman, Kevin Kouzmanoff acquired from the Indians in the Josh Barfield trade – it’s just fun to say Kouzmanoff, sounds like an evil Russian Commander from Red Dawn. But we all know why this team will make a serious run this year....Marcus, Marcus and Marcus. The Braves foolishly got rid of him (despite a valiant effort to trade him to the O’s which would have been better than apple butter on an English Muffin – but Angelos nixed it) and that has turned into the Padres gain. If they just learn not to hit him leadoff you will see ole Marc-e-pie crank out 50 doubles this year and swat about .320.

Admiral Kousmanoff!!! Turn a double play or fire torpedo?

Pitching: Another strong rotation in the NL West headlined by drunken airport arrestee Jake Peavy. Ole Jakey took a step back last year but I think a return form is in order. Following up Jake are two veterans who share absolutely NOTHING in common with each other – Greg Maddux and David Wells. I bet David Wells will give Greg so many atomic wedgies he’ll be split in half by the All-Star Break. Add in Chris Young...funny how the one time Texas actually develops a decent pitcher they trade him away, HA, that’s SO Texas....and Trevor Hoffman and you got yourself a potential Wild Card contender. But NOT the Wild Card.

3) San Francisco Giants
Lineup: Of course I loathe and despise Barry Bonds as much as the next guy and seeing as such, I will not mention his name again, just know he returns to ooze banned substances onto leftfield for the Giants. What is there to say about the Giants except they have mediocre hitting at best supplied by some of the oldest and boringest names in baseball? Randy Winn in right? Rich Aurillia at first? Ray Durham at second? Omar Vizquel at short? Oh God, I’d rather watch deleted scenes from The Prestige than the Giants hit.

Pitching: Here is some actual and interesting talent. The G’ints spent top dollar to land Barry Zito and I imagine he will benefit from making the switch to the National League. I see big things for ole Baked Zito, he is high on my list for potential Cy Youngs. The Giants also have some good young pitchers like Matt Cain and Noah Lowry, so again, another solid staff in the West. Now, about that bullpen...is Armando Benitez REALLY the closer? Ouch. And Steve Kline as setup...oye. Of course after what he said about Baltimore - I wouldn’t support Steve Kline if his nostrils dispensed Cal Ripken jerseys and lumps of imitation crabmeat.

4) Arizona Diamondbacks
Lineup: I would give anyone a shiny Idaho State Quarter if they could give me 5 of the 8 starting position players for the D-Backs off the top of their head. The March 10th depth chart reveals: C – Chris Snyder, 1B – Conor Jackson, 2B – Orlando Hudson, SS- Stephen Drew, 3B – Chad Tracy, LF – Eric Byrnes, CF – Chris B. Young, RF - Carlos Quentin. Try that little game at your next cocktail party or anonymous masked orgy.

Pitching: The D-Backs do have a solid ro-ro. Webb, Big Unit, Livan, Doug Davis...a good righty, lefty mix and continues the trend of solid NL West staffs. Then you look to the ole bullpen and see Jose “6.00 ERA” Valverde out there and now you know why they won’t climb any higher than 4th.

5) Colorado Rockies
In the interest of brevity and due to the fact that I am about to be late for a plane I will confine my analysis of the Rockies to this....they are relying on two former Oriole Lopezes in CRITICAL starting roles – Rodrigo as the #3 starter and Javy as starting catcher....read that line again, go ahead. Got it? That’s why they’ll be in last place.

Pasqua's NL West PreviewPrediction:

1.) Dodgers

2.) Padres

3.) Giants

4.) Diamondbacks

5.) Rockies

Who's going to be able to predict this division after Barry Bonds is poisoned with synotx nerve gas before opening day and is forced to miss the season? Or maybe just deported back to Hell. Putting the Giants at # 3 is wishful thinking. It's realistically where they'd finish if Bonds was shockingly harpooned by a McCovey Cove fisherman. Reviewing the NL West, it's clear that the Dodgers are stacked and have done well for themselves in the offseason. The Wild Card will make it's to the NL Central or East. This division will continue to suck and nobody will care about the teams other than the Giants...and I'll go to bed every night praying that I awake to the news of Barry's sudden collapse after eating some bad oysters.

getting harpooned. Now THAT'S a way to die.

1. Dodgers

Hitting: Assuming Nomar can play 120 or more games, this team will rake. They added Pierre in center field and have Pepe Lepeau-like speed at the top of the order with him and Furcal. Wait, Pepe was fast, right? The name "Pepe" sure does sound fast so let's go with it. Every Braves fan will grimmace once Chipper tears a muscle and Betemit proves to be one of the better 3B in the National league. If Jeff Kent can play more games this year (I'm convinced that his main objective is to get to the Hall of Fame) than he did in '06 then LA is looking better than the previews of "Norbit 2: Let's offend Indians this time".

Defense: This is probably the best starting pitching staff in the National League (Phillies are a close 2nd). The reason I side with the Dodgers staff is because of the defense behind them and the offenses they'll be facing, which are, offensive (har-har!!!). The bullpen isn't anything special, but when I take a closer look...who is it I see hiding in middle relief? Y ou guessed it...Brett Tomko! I love this guy. He's been on my fantasy team 1,639 times and I've only been playing for 5 years. I want to drop and add him right now just thinking about it.

2. Padres

Hitting: Like I said, this is probably wishful thinking since their offense is bland. They made a huge mistake picking up Marcus Giles and I say that for 2 reasons. 1. I hate Giles with a fire-like passion. 2. The ONE thing that should've been learned by watching that cross eyed loser last year is that HE CAN'T HIT LEADOFF. And what do the Padres think they're going to do with Giles? Hit him leadoff unless Terrmel Sledge can pick up the slack. So, basically, Giles is hitting leadoff. 2 wrongs don't make a right and 2 Giles' don't make runs.

Defense: Real nice staff and it's clear that Maddux has some left in the tank so I thought he was a good pickup. He'll also help Peavy return to being one of the game's best...Jake's a steal in this year's fantasy draft. Chris Young is a nice pitcher...we'll just see how the Pads do when Wells goes onto the DL. Hoffman, like Jeff Kent, will continue to perform because he sees the Hall of Fame light at the end of the tunnel and I really like Linebrink to step in if Hoffman gets arthritis or misses a few weeks for the birth of his grandchild.

3. Giants

Hitting: When Barry gets attacked by an ex-Navy Seal dressed as a hobo outside AT&T Park, who's going to take over the 3 hole in the lineup? I smell Klesko (yes, he's on this team). There's a chance this could be a good offense, but it's just as likely that they all throw their backs out. I like the move to get Dave Roberts at the top of the lineup since he's got a lot of speed and he's over 40. Seriously, how can this team get any older? I want to take my Grandpa to Turner Field when the Giants are in town. He'd be like Moonlight Graham as he points out all the players he dreamed of playing with. "Hey, that's Omar Vizquel. Holy gee, that's Ray Durham and Randy Winn. And over there, is that...is that Rich Aurilia? Mark Sweeney!!!"

Defense: Good point by Stanicek about how A's pitchers take a crap on their next team after they leave Oakland. Hopefully the same will happen for Zito since he's a sissy. After Zito, I don't see a reliable pitcher on their staff unless Matt "Sugar" Cain (I bet you thought I was going to go "Candy" Cain) continues to improve. Their bullpen is boring too, let's move on.

4. Diamondbacks

Hitting: This is a fiesty young team that will surprise people. I really like Eric Byrnes since he played on my team last year and he looks like a hungover frat boy. Carlos Quentin was good times last year too. All the infielders are younger than me except Hudson so the D-Backs are the anti-Giants. You know I'm going to give Scott Hairston a shout out. I taught him everything he knows about playing second base (of course he plays outfield now, but I actually was a sophomore when he was a freshman at Naperville North and was in charge of "teaching him"). Looking at Chris Snyder's picture, he's got the same look as Byrnes and I'm starting to think that this might be an intramural softball team who's main objective are the Coldweisers after the game.

All he needs are some short shorts, a croakie for his sunglasses and a "Byrnes loves ZTA sticker"

Defense: What's the over/under on number of games Livan Hernandez and Randy Johnson will be on the DL? If and when both of these guys go down, the D-Rays are in trouble since I don't think Brandon Webb is going to sneak up on teams like he did last year.

5. Rockies

Hitting: The starting shortstop, according to mlb.com, is Tulowitzki. That can't be good. Houston's had the "Killer B's", Colorado has the "What the H's" I guess. Hawpe, Holliday, and Helton, plus the surprising Garrett Atkins. Not a bad group of sticks to compliment their best weapon...Coors Field.

Defense: The best strategy for this pitching staff is hoping that opposing teams meet up with Jenn from the Real World Denver and she keeps them up all night with her rock star ways. What I mean is that she'll sleep with the visiting team. It's a race to the finish between the Rockies and Nationals to see who has the worst pitching staff in baseball. The only thing that'll keep the Rockies from winning that dubious honor is the wicked Brian "Daisy" Fuentes. He's got wicked stuff...kinda like Stanicek after a cheesy chicken.

Slugging AND singing his way into your heart...

2007-03-09T15:08:00.000-05:00

Ben Broussard, aka "Paul Sorrento for the new millenium", has put out an album. If we can get him together with Bronson Arroyo and Bernie Williams...well look out Beatles!

Baseball Preview Part II: AL West Preview

2007-03-07T17:37:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the delay...Part II ushers in the beginning of our divisional previews in which each of us make our predictions for the final standings in each MLB division with a brief run down of why said pick was made...without further adieu, the AL WEST:

PASQUA'S AL WEST PREVIEW

Prediction:
1. Angels
2. Athletics
3. Mariners
4. Rangers

My guess is that the Angels will represent the West in the playoffs and there won’t be a Wild Card coming out of this division. When you do a breakdown of the teams, this is the easiest division in the AL, and possibly all of baseball, to predict,.

1. Angels
Hitting: Bill Simmons’ man crush, Howie Kendrick…and the #1 rated “Guy who sounds like he played in the 1910s” just by his name…”and another hum digger from Howie Kendrick. Golly, he’s hotter than a kettle of coals. Someone tell Pulitzer and Hurst we think they got em, do they got em…NO!!!” (sorry, that ran a little long and I inserted a “Newsies” lyric that really didn’t flow, but “not flowing” is how I write, phew, is in the bigs for a full year in ’07 and will solidify an already stout hitting lineup. Vlad’s coming off one of his worst years and will undoubtedly improve. The addition of Gary Matthews will pay dividends on defense, which is all they can expect since there’s no way that he’ll duplicate his roid-enhanced ‘06 numbers (I can’t wait to see him go 3 rounds too early in the upcoming fantasy draft). Chone Figgins is one of the most versatile weapons in baseball AND has one of the most confusing names.

1992's winner of the "Flamboylantly FABULOUS Movie Poster of the Year" award

Defense: Another year for Ervin Santana who continues to improve every year. Lackey, Escobar, and Weaver will be solid and don’t forget about Bartolo Colon who’s slated to return in April from injury. Guy was the 2005 Cy Young for pity’s sake. They still have the best closer in the division with K-Rod (I’m not sold on Gagne in Texas) and a great setup man in Scot “Deflector” Shields.

2. Athletics
Hitting: I know this team is going to find ways to keep the division close, but their hitting is weak…WEAK I SAY. Piazza isn’t going to put up the numbers Frank Thomas did last year at DH, Kendall will continue to hit 3 HRs/year, Chavez will continue to be overrated, and they have Mark Ellis slated to start at second. The outfield of Swisher, Kotsay, and Milton Bradley scares me about as much as a poodle drowning in milk. This team’s going to have to rely on their pitching to get the job done…

Defense: They’ll still be one of the best defenses in the field, good thing since the pitching staff has only gotten worse since ’06 with the departure of Zito. Even though I hated him, his numbers didn’t lie. A lot depends on Rich Harden (I won’t go there with the obvious nickname) and if he can live up to his potential…personally I think he’s the next Mark Prior. Danny Haren is solid and the A’s always have a starter step up. Plus, their bullpen will keep them in games.

3. Mariners
Hitting: I like this team and they made some moves in the off-season. While I disagree with Vidro as a DH since he’s an average hitter at best, I love the addition of Jose Guillen. The big question is the corners, Beltre and Sexson. Seattle has relied on these yutzes and they’ve both produced like REM since signing that huge contract with Warner Brothers. I do like Ichiro (doy), Lopez at second, and Johjima proved he has the sand to play in the bigs. The offense has a high ceiling and a medium basement because they’ll do damage with Ichiro, Guillen, and Lopez even if Beltre and Sexon continue to be a couple of blowhards.

All kidding aside, Stanicek is right, the boys of REM are rock legends and congrats on their induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this Monday night in NY.

Defense: OK, you know you’re in trouble when the bullpen adds Chris Reitsma. Putz was actually great last year and will probably be a closer that gets overpaid in an upcoming off-season’s (I’m still peeved that Stanicek grabbed this guy in our fantasy league 5 minutes before I did). King Felix will improve and the addition of Jarrod Washbun as their #2 adds the stability that only an 8-14 pitcher can (gyyyyyosh). A lot will depend on Horatio Ramirez getting healthy and if Miguel Batista can get back to his Cy-Young contending ways. Man, this pitching staff wreaks.

4. Rangers
Hitting: One word. Sosa. As Guster says, the guy’s a one-man wrecking machine. Back to reality…Teixeira has to improve from ’06, right? You know what you’re getting out of Michael Young. Another stellar outfield of Brad Wilkerson, Kenny Lofton, N. Cruz (I had no clue who this guy was, had to click on his name, and found out it was Nelson. Needless to say, I was disappointed in Nelson being his first name. I was hoping of something more along the lines of Niagra or Narthul). Texas used to try and out-score everyone…now I’m not convinced they can even do that. Gonna be another long year.

Steroid pain can hit you like a blow to the head

Defense: One word. Koronka. Actually, he’s not horrible for a 5th starter. The problem is having Vicente Padilla as the #2 and Brandon McCarthy (who’s still 2 years away from being reliable) as your #3. Back that up with a questionable bullpen, and you’ve got the making of a horrific season.

STANICEK' S AL WEST PREVIEW
Prediction:
1) Angels
2) Athletics
3) Rangers
4) Mariners

It t’aint no secret that baseball is my love, my passion, the cat’s pajamas, the creamy middle in the chocolate cocoon of a Cadbury egg, the reason to wake up in the morning, and so on and so forth. But even baseball can’t warm the cockles of my heart to sports on the West Coast. I am an unabashed supporter of West Coast bias....a liberal and civil rights supporter in every other respect...I support the internment of all West Coast sporting squads and the deportation of its owners and managers. I can’t fully explain it – I suppose it has something to do with the fact that they REFUSE to play their games at a decent hour...come on, 10:30? Who wants to watch a game at 10:30? Maybe it’s the fact that all the celebrities refuse to watch anything but Laker basketball...LAKER basketball?! The only more boring than a West Coast sporting event is an NBA West Coast sporting event. To me events like the 2002 World Series didn’t even exist – once the Championship games were over I tuned out and in a regrettable moment of impulse became a fan of Scottish sheep-dog herding for a week...Go Spaniels! However, my unbridled hate for all things sports on the Wrong Coast will not stop me from providing you with a thorough and entertaining preview of the AL and NL West divisions...so without further adieu...

Now THAT'S herd-tertainment!

1) Anaheim Los Angeles California Angels of Greater Orange County:

The division begins and pretty much ends here – Billy Beane be damned. The Angels have a good blend of established veterans and up and coming younger type rookie guys.
Lineup: One must question the multi-contract given to HGH-filled, one year wonder Gary Matthews, Jr. My hatred of Matthews of course stems from the fact that the O’s poured their heart and soul into that guy and only received a handful of bunt singles and a steroid probe in return. But still – one year does not a career make and relying on this guy is like relying on Michael Hammond to plan ahead and bring beer to an informal get together. But all is not lost with the Angels – they still have Vlad, whom my esteemed colleague seems to think had a Podsednik-esque year but in fact turned in a season almost exactly on par with past years. I will note that his numbers did trend down somewhat and that could be a concern...Vlad may be on his way out and may not crank 40+ again...but fear not Angel fans I think there’s juice left in that funky swing yet. And yes I do realize that the chances of an actual Angels fan reading this are equal to or less than the chances of LOST introducing its new character Skippy, the lovable rapscallion that always seems to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong, this season.

Pitching: This is a big time strength for the ‘gels (as no one calls them). At some point over the past three years John Lackey went from fringe fantasy starter that was picked up and dropped more in fantasy leagues than a dollar bill smeared with melted chocolate on the down-facing side...to bona fide solid stud. Youngsters Santana and Weaver look to get even better...though Weaver seems like a Tommy John blowout waiting to happen, why? No idea...just watch. Follow those kids up with journeyman Kelvim Escobar and 458 pound former Cy Young winner Bartolo Colon (once he recovers from injury) and you got yourself a staff. Closing things out is one in a long line of unfortunate nicknames spawned in the aftermath of Alex Rodriguez....K-Rod...one of the best in the game. Add everything up and if the Angels don’t win this division I will light my Entertainment Weekly Issue #345 featuring the cast of Everybody Loves Raymond on the cover...on fire.

2) Oakland A’s

Alright so I went waaaay too long on my Angels preview so from here on out we cut the fat and get to the skinny...
Lineup: Pitching and Hitting, this is a Billy Beane team through and through. Who are these guys? How are they going to score more than a run a game? Can Jason Kendall look more like a serial killer? But you know what? They are going to be good...just not wild card good...because they always are. I do think that Piazza is going to have a strong year, maybe not quite on the Frank Thomas level – but good – he’s out of that national park of a stadium in San Diego and he doesn’t have to catch anymore, I’m thinking .300, 25 HR, 100RBI.

Pitching: Zito, Mulder, and Hudson have moved on to suck royally in other places. Seriously, what happened to those bums (I realize that Zito hasn’t started to suck yet, but he will, especially now that he’s fraternizing with Bonds)? A new crop of bright-eyed youngsters have grabbed the torch of “Rock the AL West for three years, hit free agency, sell my soul to Beelzebub and Scott Boras and then tank the rest of my career while getting tore the F up by the major market medias”. Still the rotation is solid with Harden (who every analyst says pitches like Jesus would if he could stay healthy...Harden that is, not Jesus), Haren and Blanton. Huston Street returns to close out games and take the fun name to call out at fantasy drafts title.

3) Texas Rangers

Lineup: Call me crazy but this is the team that I think could make a run at some big things this year. The lineup is more schizophrenic than the guy on the street in front of the newsstand that spends the day laughing at his juice box...but still, if Tex finds the power, Kinsler continues to develop and Blalock finds his stroke – they will score runs. And oh...I haven’t even gotten to Sammy....the kid is raking, RAKING in Spring Training. And it would be JUST like the Gods of baseball to have me suffer through Sammy’s season in Baltimore bringing plagues of locusts, steroid probes, and boiling seas of blood, only to return and win Comeback Player of the Year with Texas. So mark it down – Sammy = Comeback Player of the Year.

Pitching: Always a sore spot with the Rangers (“the Rockies of the AL” is what my gun-toting, semi-crazed, one armed Vietnam veteran neighbor in Augusta used to call them)...but they bring in Gagne to close things out, steal Brandon McCarthy away from the White Sox (another causality of Ozzie Guillen’s “berate them on national television for missing the corner of the plate once and then disparage them with homophobic slurs” style of managing) to add to solid starters Millwood and Padilla and I think they might have enough to contend in this “creamsicle on an August day in Savannah”-soft division

Move over Jason Kendall...Padilla is the newest serial killer on the block. I won't sleep tonight

4) Seattle Mariners
Lineup: Oye. This is a train wreck of a team, so let’s spend no time on them....the lineup is weak, and then they invest in Jose “I’m a .280, 5 HR DH” Vidro. The M’s show little to no signs of any dynamic improvement over last year in which they ranked second to last in the American League in runs scored (beating only the D-Rays).

Pitching: Again, a team that was middle of the pack in team ERA last year turns to Jeff Weaver, Horacio Ramirez and Miguel Batista to save them? (I should note that Pasqua whiffed in saying Washburn was an addition, he was in Seattle last year...no wonder he lost in fantasy baseball) AND they are relying on a 20 year old with a 4.50 ERA as their staff ace? AND their closer is...alright I straight up worship their closer, JJ Putz struck out 104 in 78 innings last year, walked only 13 and scored 36 saves with a 2.30. The guy had a terrific year. Overall though – Mariners are on a one way train to Last-ville.

1 post for the week

2007-03-02T16:57:00.000-05:00

Painful checking this blog every day and not seeing a new post, eh? Makes you take for granted how good you had it when Stanicek and I were in a blogging groove and ripped out a new post everday ala J-Mac.

Fear not, my friends. In the upcoming weeks we'll be posting our long awaited baseball preview, of which we've been getting daily emails from readers wondering where the hell these baseball nuggets of genius are. In due time.

Meanwhile, I thought this was a fun article that followed up on the most ridiculous youtube moment in the website's history. Enjoy...

Provactive Questions for MLB 2007: Episode I

2007-02-21T09:34:00.000-05:00

In the first of a series of hard-hitting, pulse pounding, goat-getting questions to usher in...at long last...the 2007 MLB season we ask today: “Is Turner Field a generic misfire, a castaway, the red-headed step child of this era’s new stadiums or is it ok?”

This began as an innocent email interchange between Pasqua and I regarding what to name the trophy cup for our fantasy baseball league. Pasqua brilliantly suggested the Lemke Cup after former super-stud Atlanta Braves second baseman Marcus Ignatius Octavius Lemke. What followed was a bloody, rude, crude, sometimes fruit-filled debate about the pros and cons of one Turner Field...

Wait...which stadium is this again? Oh yeah, the Braves...thank God for that logo in centerfield otherwise I would have said Cincinnatti.

Pasqua: You're welcome for the Lemke Cup. Maybe we can bring it to a Braves game and have that short fuc* sign it.

Oh Mark I shall drink frosty brews out of the cup named in your honor at this year's draft

Stanicek: Yeah right - like those "fan friendly" wonks at Turner would let you bring something like that into the stadium. I had to get a full body cavity search and an implanted electro shock chip just to bring in a pen and ask for autographs.

Pasqua: You're an idiot…I love Turner more than a warm crescent roll during a bubble bath with someone’s Grandma. Weird I know.

Stanicek: We'll just have to throw Turner into the "Scrubs" pile of things we will never agree on - I don't like it because of the militant anti-fan atmosphere and lack of any defining or charming characteristics (other than "Its got lots of TVs" and "Its got a HUGE TV!" and "Hey look at that TV") and you like it because you are an Atlanta apologist. So agree to disagree.

You have to question Pasqua's taste cause he doesn't like this either

Pasqua: Yes, you're correct. Turner sure does blow because of how fan friendly it is for kids (I dred the day I have to take my kid to Turner…), and how about those walkways? They're so spacious you don't have to rub up against a 400lb man to get around. How ridiculous is that? Oye vay, and Turner certainly has jacked up ticket prices. I mean $1 seats!!! What kind of lunacy is that???

Stanicek: So the things going for Turner are 1) all the other things to do besides watch baseball and 2) there's lots of room in the walkways. Not exactly glowing reviews. I look for that authentic baseball vibe in a ballpark...sitting down and knowing what stadium and city you are in immediately, the character, the uniqueness...that's what sets great stadiums apart. In Turner there's nothing. No view of the skyline, no distinct features, it is drab and lifeless. Not to mention that they will saw off your hand if you try to get an autograph, watch the starters warm up in the bullpen or take a picture two hours before the game when there are a grand total of 300 people in the entire stadium. As for my kids - there is no way I'm taking them to some arcade in the bowels of the stadium during the game - we will be there to watch baseball.

Pasqua: My kids will be there to watch baseball as well homie. The fact that the tickets are affordable, they offer great discounts for tickets, and there really isn't a bad seat in the house gives Turner a great advantage. You're straight up and down 100% without a doubt completely disastrously wrong about the skyline not being visible from Turner. Sure, it's a horrendous and hideous skyline…but it's there. I also love the bars in the stadium that allow you to stand with a brew in hand and with a huge group of friends. Both of the outdoor bars give you a great view of the field. Give me a distinct feature of LA's stadium? I actually consider the Chophouse and Top of the Chop a distinct feature. If you want to drink with friends at US Cellular, you have to do so in the walkways. Granted, I also consider the big screen a distinct feature…but whatever. You're probably right…it's so much better to watch a replay in your mind than on a 80,000 foot HD big screen. And I've said this before, but US Cellular doesn't let you down onto the lower level AT ALL before or during the game unless you have a lower level ticket. Not the case at Turner…just FYI.

Stanicek: So you are touting Turner based on a ballpark neither of us have ever been to that was built in the 1960s and US Cellular which is one of the crappier stadiums I've ever set foot in. Besides, Turner was JUST built...they had every opportunity to make it distinct, make it interesting and didn't. Sure, Turner is more pleasant than most minor league stadiums and is probably better than Florida's stadium - does that make it better? And sure the skyline (and by skyline I mean the GA Capitol building area, with the tall buildings and what not, not the projects and highways over right-center) may be visible from some seats or the ramps but its not a focal point a la Baltimore. As for the big-screen TV...come on...EVERY stadium has a replay board but I'm supposed to go ga ga for this one because Turner's is 72 feet whereas Texas' is only 68 feet. That just doesn't impress me. I don't go to stadiums for the size of the TV. Finally, the ticket pricing argument is irrelevant - the only reason the prices are so low is because the fans are so lousy. If they ever started selling out the stadium consistently those tickets would skyrocket faster than an Aubrey Huff homer. It's captialism. The Orioles also have very cheap and discounted tickets. What I'm basically getting at is that 1) I've had bad experiences at Turner with the rules/regulations, 2) I expect more from it aesthetically because it was built in the past few years and had the benefit of taking the best points from other stadiums, 3) the designers failed to do that and turned in nothing more than a mediocre at best park, 4) that makes me like it less because of the wasted opportunity, 5) overall its fine but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone doing a tour of stadiums.

Now THIS is a stadium - skyline is a focal point, recognizable immediately and incorporates something unique about the city into the design...and no interstate highways don't count.

Pasqua: Pretty interesting that my cousin, a life-long Cubs fan, says Turner is one of the best stadiums he's ever seen. As has my Uncle, a life-long White Sox fan. So have my relatives from San Diego. The list goes on and on. The fact is, I think it's a gorgeous park from the inside as well as the outside when you're driving along the highway. They had NO OTHER CHOICE but to build it next to the old Fulton County stadium so I can't fault them for what's in the background. When you're in the upper deck you can see all of Atlanta's skyline…really…I think you're wrong on this point. The parking situation is one of the best I've ever seen too. Other stadiums you have to take a train or park in a lot close to the stadium for $50…and I know you'll refute this as being something that doesn't matter…but the fact is that it makes the overall experience more enjoyable. You made no mention of the bars in the outfield…which is the point I harped on most and one of the main reasons I enjoy Turner. It allows you to drink with a group of 20 if you'd like and be able to see the field to follow the game. I've yet to see a stadium that offers something like that to the general public for free. What I'm getting at is that 1) Turner's rules/regulations are actually LESS strict than US Cellular's and I have to imagine other stadiums beefed up security in recent years too 2) I disagree and think it's a very pretty park…especially when you get first glance of the field from the outfield entrance 3) again, agree to disagree 4) they didn't have a choice on location and did the best they could 5) I'd recommend it since there's no other ballparks near Turner except in Florida. PLUS, they have some really fun 7 th inning traditions…”THANK GOD I’M A COUNTRY BOY!!!”

(Editor's Note: The following comment was not part of the original email interchange but because I was the one that posted I get the final word - fair? No.)

Stanicek: Don't even get me started on Turner BLATANTLY STEALING the Baltimore Orioles' 7th Inning Stretch tradition. That's just another nail in Turner's stale, generic, characterless coffin - having no originality or tradition of its own Turner goes out and steals "Thank God I'm a Country Boy" from the Orioles (the song, I should note, is in a National Baseball Hall of Fame exhibit in Cooperstown under Baltimore traditions). As for the bars - granted - they have two bars where you can buy purchase $9 beers to your heart's content and watch the game from some of the worst seats in the house. But seeing as I generally try to avoid spending upwards of $72 for alcohol at baseball games the bars are moot. Finally, this whole skyline issue - I realize they had to build the stadium there but did that prevent them from orienting it so that Atlanta's skyline would be the skyline out over centerfield? I can't count the skyline as a plus for the stadium when the only people who can see it are in the upper deck craning their necks.

Thoughts?

Yes Yes YEEEESSSS

2007-02-15T15:29:00.000-05:00

Holy crapamolee I love the thought of Opening Day. The void of sports right now is filling me with a painful headache that only subsides whenever I imagine April baseball and the start of the season. If any of the readers of this humble blog finds themselves bored with nothing to do and wants to take in a Braves game but is too much of a loser to have a friend to join...just know that I, too, am a loser and will be glad to be your Huckleberry at Turner for the evening/afternoon. Holler at me.

As a matter of fact, if you ever wanted to meet Pasqua and Stanicek, come on down to Turner Field on March 31st. We'll be in attendance for the final pre-season game between the Braves and Chicago's very own White Sox. I believe Turner Field Media Relations said they'll have booths set up behind home plate for myself and Stanicek where you'll be able to take a picture with us and get an autograph. I can't remember if they said that or told me to get a ticket like everyone else and hung up the phone. If it was the latter, we'll be up in the Top of the Chop drinking $7 beers with the rest of the yutzes in our group.

Since I haven't yet bought all the pre-season baseball magazines, this was the best preview I've read on the upcoming season. I 'm trying to remain open-minded because Stanicek and I are going to break down each division in the coming weeks. On a scale of 1-17, how exciting is everyone for our baseball preview blog posts?

That's all for now...I'm going to be watching Half Nelson tonight and if the movie has the same effect on me that it did for Roeper, I'll probably sit drooling for 2 hours to fully appreciate the performance of "Young Hercules".

"I'd like to thank the Academy"

I've got nuthin

2007-02-12T14:20:00.000-05:00

Well, I really don't have much to say so I figured I'd do one of those random hodgepodge posts that have very little rhyme or reason.

Can't wait to check out Half Nelson tomorrow. Ever since Roeper and Ebert fill-in Kevin Smith basically said that they'd give their first born to see this movie again, I've been amped up for this release. Plus, it's got an Oscar nomination for Gosling...so. Yep.
Nice work by my counterpart getting everyone amped up (yes, I just used "amped" twice in back to back bullet points) about UGA baseball and then the team goes and gets swept this past weekend. Speaking of dissapointing UGA news...
Mike Mercer going down may have ended the basketball team's chance at a tourney appearance. That injury literally broke my heart. After hearing the stories of him shooting with one hand in an empty gym for hours on end showed the dedication and how much trust he had in Coach Felton. Sure, he's been a bit hyper on the floor but he's the best athlete we've got. Poor Mike Mercer.
Does anyone else wonder if Steve Newman isn't kicking himself for not coming out early last year? This year's draft class is going to be stacked and it's going to really hurt where he gets taken.
Like I've been saying all along, anyone who was dissapointed in UGA's 2007 recruiting class need not worry about skill players in the upcoming recruiting season. So far, UGA has recieved verbals from 3 of the Top 100 players in the country according to rivals.com and we're in the lead for some other highly touted players. The best of the bunch is this kid, AJ Green out of South Carolina...could be the #1 overall high school player in the nation when it's said and done-ski.
I officially admit that SNL has lost it. Though SNL traditionally goes through ups and downs, this season is pretty brutal. There are lights at the end of the tunnel in Jason Sudeikis and Kristen Wiig...who I have a crush on. All they need are some funny writers, a better supporting cast, and some good recurring characters. I came up with the solution...holla at me Lorne. What kind of name is that anyways?

UGA Baseball Preview - PART 2!

2007-02-08T16:22:00.000-05:00

I have never subscribed to the age-old belief that sequels are never as good as the original...what about The Star Wars 2: Empire is Striking Back?! That was a good one with the Yoda and the freezings and the what-nots. I say this only to make clear to you, the loyal readers...strike that, I meant, you, our one reader, that I do not intend to mail it in as it were...to tank Part 2 because I know I have the audience in the bag after the brilliance of Part 1 and they will line up no matter what vomit I author up on this blog because most of you have brains the size of one of Pasqua’s 3/4s chewed and bloodied pinky nails. Wow, this really took a dark turn didn’t it? One thing going for this sequel...it’s really long and it seems like every movie that comes out these days has to be three hours long or its not considered respectable (see: The Good Sheppard, Flags of Our Fathers, etc). But I digress, on with Part 2!

If I can approach the greatness of this classic I will be fulfilled.

Position Players:

2006 witnessed a marked offensive improvement after a somewhat, sort of, kind of, totally, absolute, utterly abysmal 2005. Yes, we all marveled at the offensive-stylings of such powerhouses as Josh Morris, Bobby Felmy and the incomparable Joey Side...just one problem...they’re all gone. Ouch. So where do we go from here? Do we throw in the towel like sissy little nancy (is that capitalized?) Boys (man I got this capitalizing thing aLl f-ed uP? NO! We ante up and kick in like men...LIKE MEN! So without further adieu meet your soon to be record setting squad of hitting people...

LF – Jonathan Wyatt – senior – LH (throws right) – (.360, 4 HRs, 40 RBI) – fan favorite Jonathan Wyatt is back and yes he still spells his first name like a normal human being, unlike other Jonathan’s I know. Wyatt was the catalyst of the offense last year, especially after moving to the leadoff spot. He also impressed in the postseason batting .370 with 2 dinger dongers and 10 ribbieques. The guy is a beast and also uses what quite possibly is the largest glove to ever be utilized in organized baseball. I don’t know if it just looks oversized or is in fact, as many claim, so large that it blots out the sun.

Picture this but the size of the tarp used to cover the Yankee Stadium infield

SS – Gordon Beckham – sophomore – RH – (.280, 12 HRs, 54 RBI) – our Freshman All-American shortstop returns and after posting the 2nd highest team total in HRs, and 3rd in RBI, the entire Bulldog nation has but one thing on their collective minds....what obscure 1980s synth-rock hit will Gordo come out to in his at bats this year. Of course Gordon won his way into the hearts of the masses last year by choosing The Outfield’s mid-80s gem “Your Love” as his “at the bat” intro music. No words can describe the magic that I, as not just a Georgia fan, but a fan of life, felt when I would see young G-B knock his cleats with his aluminum bat, approach the plate and all of sudden, blaring from every loud speaker in Foley Field would come...”Josie’s on a vacation far away...come around and talk it over...so many things that I want to say...” Needless to say the crowd would be whipped into frothing frenzy and opposing pitchers had little chance of overcoming the tidal wave of love and emotion that was curling overhead about to break. Oh, and he’s a goood hitter.

1B – Ryan Peisel – junior – RH – (.310, 2 HRs, 45 RBI) – I can’t decide what I like more about Peisel, the fact that his last name reminds of me of my favorite dessert – sweet, delicious pie, that he stepped in and started all 70 games last year after transferring from East Carolina, or that he was coached by my favorite lug this side of Gwinnet – Steven Craft. Anyway you slice it this guy is a winner in my book. Peisel will be moving to first base this year leaving his spot at third where he started 67 of 70 games last year. It will be tough to fill the shoes of prodigious power hitter Josh Morris and I don’t think two homers out of first base this year, on a team that isn’t sure where its power will come from, will cut it in 2007.

OF/DH – Matt Olson – junior – LH (throws right) – (.326, 1 HR, 19 RBI) - so begins our army of OF/DHs...just who will see the most starts out of the next few cats is out of my realm of knowledge, which is saying quite a bit. Olson played in just over half the Dawgs games last year and responded competently. Started both the Dawgs games in Omaha last year so one would think in a lineup full of question marks Matty boy will see significantly more action this year. One worry...Matt has all of one career homerun, granted he has only appeared in 38 games but still...we need some power is what I’m saying.

OF/DH/C – Matt Robbins – senior – RH – (.301, 2 HRs, 24 RBI) – started a heap of games last year (36) but all at DH...which leads this intrepid reporter to believe that maybe Matty aint so hotty in the field. Not many gold gloves heading his way. Regardless, because of his substantial experience last year (appeared in 49 of 70 games) it looks like Perno will be counting on him for some “O”.

OF/DHs – Matt Cerione – freshman – LH/Rich Poythress – freshman - Cerione hails from Chattahoochee for all you Alpharetta natives out there, Poythress from Greenbrier for you loyal readers in the greater Augusta metropolitan area. I think that Poythress might actually be a corner infielder but inside sources tell me that coaches may be looking at him as more of an OF/DH. Of course I may have just made that entire thing up and/or just pulled it from a press release but would you know – nope. Anyway, looking at their bios didn’t give me much info – they weren’t ranked on any Top 100 list of incoming freshmen but what does Baseball America know? They both had ridiculously gaudy high school numbers (i.e. .550, 20 HRs, etc).

C – Joey Lewis – freshman – RH – From Starr’s Mill High School in Fayetteville, which sounds like a made-up high school so I prefer to think that he was genetically engineered in a lab out of the parts of lesser baseball players to form SUPER-CATCHER. Anyway, he batted .506 as a senior, won Fayette/Coweta player of the year by the AJC and was named a Louisville Slugger High School All-American. Plus, in a picture on rivals.com that Pasqua sent me he looks a lot like Matt Stafford...so he’s got to be good.

Sort of like what Joey Lewis is like except he's not drawn by Japanese animators.

2B – Mike Freeman – freshman – LH (throws right) – tragically this kid hails from Florida, happily he has the same name of my next door neighbor growing up who was AWESOME...so he’s got that going for him. Freeman was drafted by the Friars of San Dee-ah-go in the 41st round last year but chose to come to UGA. Wise choice Mr. Freeman (sorry, that’s what I used to call my neighbor, this will take some getting used to). Also was among the Baseball America Top 300 class of 2006.

3B – Luke Stewart – freshman – LH (throws right) – PASQUA ALERT – this guy is from ILLINOIS kid! Normal, IL which sounds like a very nice, middle of the road, not out of the ordinary in any way whatsoever place to grow up. Luke was also drafted by the San Diego Padres, alas he was drafted in the 42nd round – rivalry with Mr. Freeman anyone?! And just to make everyone feel really old...Luke was born in 1988. Wow. I bet he doesn’t even remember the Orioles starting out the season 0-21 that year.

Prognostications:

Pre-season rankings generally have us in the same place – Baseball America slapped us in the face and called us Sally by ranking us 27th. Other publications (I believe the Collegiate Baseball Writers of America or some such) have us as high as 19th. Obviously we have a lot of talent to replace. You don’t lose practically your entire lineup, plug in true freshman in as many as five positions and expect instant success. To make matters worse UGA just so happens to play in the best conference in America which has four, count ‘em, four teams in the Top 11 (6th – South Cack, 7th – Arkansas, 8th – Vandy, 11th – Tennessee). Throw on top the fact that UGA is not playing any sissies out of conference including matchups against USC (the REAL one, not South Cack), Clemson, Georgia Tech, and a season opening series against the defending national champs, Oregon State.

This will probably not be us this year....but next year...ah next year...we win in Omaha and Richt grabs his first national championship - 2008-2009 what a time it will be.

So what’s going to happen? Obviously the sports writers don’t give us much of a chance seeing as they predicted we would finish 5th in the SEC East. I refuse to believe that. Everyone’s darling the Tennessee Volunteers showed they weren’t as mighty as they believe opening up their season last weekend getting BLASTED by a lower ranked (18th) Florida State, getting outscored 32-9 in the three game set. So there is hope. There will be significant growing pains, especially amongst the position players but I think our pitching will become a big strength by season’s end (assuming we find some middle relievers to get to Fields). Look for a sturdy third or fourth place finish in the SEC East, a better than expected performance in the SEC tournament and another trip to the NCAA tournament. I don’t think we will be strong enough to host a regional but I could see us getting in and making some noise. Realistically I think an exit in the opening regional is more likely than another super-regional and/or trip to Omaha. So sit back and enjoy the show...first pitch is TOMORROW!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!!!

UGA Baseball...Diamond Dawgs 2007 Preview Part One:

2007-02-06T18:17:00.001-05:00

What with all the talk of your Super Bowls, Signing Day, Georgia basketball, the world’s impending global-warming induced apocalypse, whether Eddie Murphy can expect back-to-back Oscar nominations for this year’s turn in “Dreamgirls” and next year for “Norbit”, and whether my musk smells more like manly rawhide, an Irish morning on the glens...ahh the glens, or a pungent yet alluring mix of gasoline and fresh kiwi....its easy to lose sight of what is easily the biggest story this week...UGA baseball opens up this Friday night at Foley Field against defending national champion Oregon State.

You can almost hear the drunk guys on the deck heckling the opposing rightfielder...

So to ease your transition into the coming college baseball season and to help you sound like the smartest guy in your (insert one): A) Sad, soul-sucking cubicle row, B) Bank-breaking, loan-check swallowing classroom, C) Despair-breeding teacher’s lounge, D) Workers-comp laden construction site, or E) Other....I give to you the 2007 UGA Diamond Dawgs Preview:
----------------------------
Using little to no hyperbolic language, the Diamond Dawg’s 2006 season was a roller coaster ride of jaw-dropping, biblical, apocalyptic proportions. Finishing 47-23, the Dawgs reached the College World Series for the second time in the past three seasons. In getting to Omaha the Dawgs finished second in the SEC East, won thrilling regionals and super-regionals (against South Carolina...man, I love beating them in EVERYTHING) and tallied the second most season wins in program history. Unfortunately, once in Omaha the Dawgs dropped their first two games in heart-breaking fashion to Rice and eventual national champion, Oregon State and were bounced from the double-elimination tournament. Repeated pleas via emails to the NCAA office and some unspeakable favors performed for the higher-ups in charge in Omaha by me were of no avail...the season ended.

The world's smallest picture.

But like the mythical Phoenix Cardinals rising from the ashes...wait...that’s wrong...like the mythical Arizona Cardinals rising from the ashes, the 2007 season starts anew against the opponent that ended the Dawgs highly successful 2006 campaign, Oregon State. Many of the familiar faces from the 2006 squad are gone:

SP - Brooks Brown (1st round pick – Arizona Diamondbacks)

Brooksie is gone but maybe we will all be fighting to acquire him in a not-so-distant fantasy league draft

SP – Mickey Westphal
RP – Rip Warren (free agent signee – New York Mets)
C – Jason Jacobs (20th round pick – New York Mets)
1B – Josh Morris (12th round pick – Atlanta Braves)
OF – Joey Side (6th round pick – Arizona Diamondbacks)
OF – Bobby Felmy (22nd round pick – San Francisco Giants)
OF/DH – Kyle Keen

Consequently, the Diamond Dawgs will heavily rely on new faces, especially amongst the position players. So without further adieu...

Starting Pitching

There is returning talent here despite the departure of Friday night ace Brooks Brown and steady innings-eater Mickey Westphal. Four sophomores look to take on increased responsibility in the rotation:

Here they are - Beckham, Holder, Moreau, and Leaver...wait not Beckham, we'll get to Beckham later.

Nathan Moreau – sophomore - LHP – 6’4” - (8-1, 5.50 ERA) – started 12 games as true freshman, was named #3 starter behind Brown and Westphal toward the end of the year, and tied Derek Lilliquist’s UGA freshman record for wins with eight. I imagine he will be our #1 out of the blocks.

Trevor Holder – sophomore - RHP – 6’2” – (5-3, 4.70 ERA) – started eight games last year, appeared in 21 games. However, he was DYN-O-MITE in the post season notching a 2-0 record with a 0.87 ERA in over 10 innings of work (including one start). Hopefully that hot hand continues into this year.

Jason Leaver – sophomore - LHP – 6’1” - (3-2, 4.95 ERA) – started seven games but one of those games was the Regional Championship win against Florida State and man...what a start it was (5 IP, 1 ER) for a true freshman.

Stephen Dodson – sophomore - RHP – 6’5” – (1-0, 4.86 ERA) – used mostly in relief last year (19 appearances, 1 start), but he’s the same height as me so I like him.

There are a few true freshmen and a junior in the mix but I would anticipate the vast majority of the starts to come from some combination of the above four sophomores. These four give us a nice righty-lefty mix and having a year under their belts (a year in which all four received substantial, pressure-filled experience) should help.

BULLPEN

Herein resides the Diamond Dawgs’ biggest superstar....

Closer: Joshua Fields – RHP – 6’0” - (3-2, 15 SVs, 1.85 ERA) – a consensus preseason 1st Team All American by practically every publication and/or organization covering college baseball. Fields is also ranked as the #8 Major League prospect in college baseball by Lindy’s. Throws upwards of 98 MPH...this guy is wicked. Last year was 2nd Team All-American, 1st Team All-SEC and led the SEC in saves (while also tying a school record). Yessir, come the 8th or 9th opponents are going to be in trouble...now about getting to that 8th or 9th....

Rest of the relievers:

Adam McDaniel – senior - RHP – 6’1” – (2-1, 8.53 ERA) – converted third baseman, last year was his first on the mound for the Dawgs. Made 21 relief appearances and in a truly troubling sign....accolades include “Member of All-SEC Academic Honor Roll and SEC Good Works Team”. Reminiscent of the old baseball cards for players like Rene Gonzales, on the back would say things like “Rene enjoys fishing in the offseason”.

That’s...about....it, the aforementioned freshmen and junior who figured to get the occasional start will also be called on to round out the bullpen. There is some indication that a true freshman, Ryan Woolley (RHP, 6’1”) might be a step ahead of the others in the bullpen...but that’s just me reading between the lines of press releases and Perno quotes. Initially, there doesn’t seem to be that lock down middle reliever like Rip Warren, hell there doesn’t seem to be a Rip Taylor or Warren Beatty...but I have confidence one of these guys will emerge.

Listen, if he can pitch and we can count on him the clutch I don't care what he wears out on the mound.

Tomorrow (or Thursday)....position players and prognostication....until then...

I have no reason for posting this picture other than for its sheer comic value.

Awwwww...

2007-02-06T12:22:00.000-05:00

From the "Every other story in the news and on blogs is incredibly disturbing, depressing and evil and I'm about to throw myself off a building unless I hear something positive and happy right now" department comes this little gem from the Athens Banner-Herald...seems out of all the names the elementary school kids could have picked, the kids chose to name the bear "DJ" in honor of the great DJ Shockley who visits the school on a regular basis to meet and read with the kids. Now if that doesn't warm your heart then I don't know what will.

Now on to the important stuff....

2007-02-05T11:51:00.000-05:00

We have all recovered from the lag of college football season being over...we can all stop pretending to care about this year's NFL season...we can continue to deny that the NBA even exists to make ourselves feel better about this country....and now we can truly start getting down to business....

UGA baseball opens up THIS Friday against the defending National Champions...

Pitchers and Catchers report in T-minus 10 days and counting...

And that most hallowed of days...the day when they give you a free side of feta dressing at Gyro even though you didn't order it, the day when our next-door neighbor turns on his kitchen light at 3:30am (as he does every night) resulting in a blinding brilliant beam of light illuminating my bedroom like the stage of a "Backstreet Boys" concert and yet I don't mind in the least, the day every traffic light downtown seems to turn green, the day when even "The Prestige" seems like a good movie...Major League Baseball Opening Day is just 57 days away...

Top 10 for Da Bears

2007-01-30T14:23:00.000-05:00

There's been a debate amongst several, J-Mass and my co-hort included, about which team a casual fan should be pulling for on Sunday. I call it a "debate" even though in my mind, the argument is about as debatable as curley vs. home fries from Arby's.

Granted, I had 16 solid years in Chicago as a youth and pull for all things Chicago except the Cubs or Chicago native Isaiah Thomas...so I can't call myself a "casual fan". What I can do is give you some overwhelming evidence as to why you should pull for not only the Bears on Sunday...but for the city of Chicago.

10. Real city vs. Fake City. Anyone ever been to Indianapolis? Me neither. On top of that, the Colts aren't even Indianapolis'...they're Baltimore's. Root for a real city that has a team that's their's. Plus, the Bears have a team song...and I love professional teams with songs.

9. The Owners. Look at the background on Jim Irsay from the Colts. He was GM when he was 24 because his Dad bought the Baltimore Colts. So you're going to root for the male version of Paris Hilton??? Plus, this guy had a legal battle with his stepmom, he's a drug addict, and his Dad is from CHICAGO!!! Or, you can root for Virginia Halas McCaskey aka "Mama Bear", Daughter of "Papa Bear" George Halas. Did you see when Virginia was wheeled out to the field during the NFC Title Game? I haven't teared up like that since Juan Uribe dove into the crowd for the 2nd out of Game 4 in 2006. Her family is the face of the franchise and you can't buy tradition like that.

8. The Food. Polish Sausage, Italian Beef, Deep Dish Pizza, and a popcorn joint where people stand in line for 2 hours just to get a couple of bags of poped corn (don't believe me? Well, I did it Christmas 2006). Anyone who's ever had an authentic Chicago deep dish would be willing to tell you that it's so good. How good is it? It's so good, that they'll root for the city's football team that the pizza derives from. I couldn't tell you what an Indianapolis delicacy is...but I'm willing to wager it's got a cottage cheese base. Gyyyosh.

7. The Fans. We all know about the Superfans. I always wondered what the average American who has never been to Chicago thought about that skit. Think it's a little overdone? Well, yes, maybe a little. But these guys exist. Any non-believers should've come to my next family reunion. When you go to Soldiers Field you'll probably never see a more jolly bunch of "oversized" adults in team jerseys and parkas bearing (pun intended) the Chicago logo at one time (Lambeau might be the only exception). Who are these Colts fans? A bunch of pansies who are still trying to get over the depressing news of Al Unser Jr's DUI and get to sit in a Dome every Sunday? Where's the fun in that? P ull for the fans of Chicago. They are you. They are me. They are we. They are America.

6. Sports Significance. As you heard in the "Superfans" skit, the Bulls are "a pleasant diversion to Da Bears" which was the truth even during the 90s when the Bulls created a dynasty. The rankings of sports importance in Chicago goes like so:

Bears
Cubs (F'ers. But it's true. Funny how that happens when a team is owned by the newspaper)
Bulls
Sox
Blackhawks

I have to imagine the rankings in Indy go like this:

Indy Car Racing
Hoosiers
NBA - gotta pull for those Pacers
NBA (this one is actually the National Ballet Assocation. HUGE in Indy...Go Twinkletoes!)
Colts (or as Indy fans call them..."who?")

Root for a city that lives and dies by the Bears. UGA fans like me should sympathize for Chicago Bears fans who've been waiting for a title since 1985. I know I know, Indy has never won a Championship...but do they even care? It's like NBA fans pulling for the Hawks to win it all because Atlanta has never seen a basketball championship. WE COULD CARE LESS...same goes for the Colts "fans". Next time the Hoosiers are in the Finals, pull for them (as we all did in 2002 because that's Indy's real love), but leave the NFL to a team and city that actually cares.

5. Underdogs. J-Mass had a point about this in his blog but it isn't valid. Sure the Bears say they've been underdogs all year, which I admit isn't true, but the fact remains that all experts were picking the Saints last week and those same analysts are picking the Colts this week. If you're a fan that is watching a game with no allegiance, don't you always pull for the underdog? Who wasn't pulling for George Mason last year during the NCAA tournament? I'm not saying the Bears are George Mason, but the fact remains that it's much more fun to pull for the dog. Indy winning by 6 would be like kissing your Great Aunt Gladys.

4. The Aftermath. I've been trying to find a youtube link to the 1986 parade in Chicago to celebrate the Bears Superbowl, but I couldn't. Believe me when I say it was mayhem. There would be another Superbowl parade in Chicago should the Bears win, but that's not the most exciting part. What I'm really stoked about would be the inevitable re-make of The Superbowl Shuffle with this year's team...and hopefully the lyrics would be just as tacky. Can you imagine this?

I’m Tank Johnson and what do you know?
I tackle running backs and I’m still on parole.
Chicago Bears are the best and we’re taking over nations.
If you want to be my bodyguard, I’m still accepting applications.

Please tell me you wouldn't want to see this team make fools out of themselves just like the 1985 Bears did. You know what would be the result of a Colts Superbowl...more Peyton Manning commercials. This has been my best argument for the Bears yet.

3. The Legacy. How UGA fans or any SEC fan that didn't go to Tennessee is rooting for Peyton is beyond me. That guy is the highest paid player in the NFL and has more endorsements than Viagra. People probably think of Manning as the poster boy of the SEC...and why? He won 1 SEC title and 0 (zero) National Titles...yet if you ask who's the Greatest QB of SEC history Peyton Manning's name will always be at the top of the list. Huh? What about David Green? Doesn't he hold more records than Peyton? Didn't he win just as many SEC titles as Peyton did? This always kills me that David Green is probably #20 on everyone's list for SEC elite QBs and it fuels my hatred even more. I hope Peyton goes down as a poor man's Dan Marino. Go Bears!

2. The Result. I bet if the Bears win, it'll be a huge boost for Obama to grab that Democratic nomination. Does that statement have any merit? Absolutely not...I'm just trying to convince J-Mac with this one because every vote/fan in the Bears corner will help.

1. We've covered the fans, we've covered the cities, we've covered the significance, and we've covered the nostalgia. What's left to cover but to talk about? Me. Root for the Bears because you want your old pal Pasqua to have a "2006-like White Sox moment" again. It was one of the top 5 moments in my life when Uribe threw it over to Konerko for the final out. Granted, I'm a bigger fan of the White Sox than the Bears but if the Bears are able to pull it out on Sunday my family and I will all slide in another Top 10 moment together. Chicago's an odd town. You have two HUGE sports in Chicago...baseball and football. The top 5 moment I just referenced was probably one of the 10 worst sports moments in the lives of some of my Cub-fan friends and relatives. Football is the sport where every Chicagoan comes together and cheers as one. Sure, basketball is a nice option too...but football is Chicago's real love and the Bears encompass everything about that city. So, c'mon...I don't ask for much. In the words of the Superfans...

Bears 94
Colts -10

Frodo finally gets his due...

2007-01-30T11:06:00.000-05:00

It's official...hobbits are real.

I've already put my down payment down on a nice place in Hobbitton

Champ Bailey, Boss Bailey. It ends there.

2007-01-25T16:34:00.000-05:00

UGA has lost out on the Allen Bailey Sweepstakes. This 1/2 man 1/2 beast will be committing to Alabama, Florida, or Miami. I, for one, am rooting for the Canes. What a fine program that Miami is and Bailey is the kind of kid that can turn it around (gulp). GET OUT OF THE SEC IF YOU'RE NOT COMING TO UGA, YA ISLAND MAN!!!

LUCKILY, we signed our 6th recruit for 2008. You heard it here first; when the recruiting class rankings for 2008 come out, UGA will be #1. No question.

Thanks to the Meim-ster for discussing Keane with me. The result of our discussion? Two "um...idunno's". But we sure did like it.

Huge, I'm talking HEEEYYYUUUGE win for UGA last night. If you didn't watch it, you missed one of the most entertaining games we've played. We've never played such a high paced game (seriously I thought Bliss was going to hurl every time he was in the game...which only came in 90 second increments), stage such an amazing comeback against a prolific team, and turn around a season in one night after such a devastating loss. Rally around this team, my UGA brothers and sisters, we're on the brink of the 64 team tourney!!! I can smell the first round loss now and it smells GOOOOOD.

Great optimistic outlook on UGA by Mark Bradley today. He sees us as a Sweet 16 team...I see us as a team that has a 50/50 shot at beating Kennesaw State Feb. 14. I guess it's just my pessimistic hangover from the football season.

JUMANGIIIII...heeee heeeee. Coach. Sub!!!

Suburban Chicago...I love ya again!

2007-01-22T16:04:00.000-05:00

This article by Tim Placher a writer for the Daily Southtown in Chicago, a response to his co-worker Paul "I am a vile, cynical baseball writer that hates everything good about the sport I cover so I refuse to vote Cal and Tony into the Hall" Ladewski, pretty much sums up why Cal Ripken is one of the greatest players and all-around human being the sport of baseball has ever seen.

Note to Pasqua - Please observe Cal's praise for Chicago White Sox fans at the end of the article.

Da Kicker

2007-01-19T17:40:00.000-05:00

I finally realized who Drew Butler looks like. Drew Butler is the son of Kevin Butler, former UGA kicker and the kicker of the 1985 World Champion Bears.

Drew looks exactly like...

Billy from "Big".

The space goes down, down baby, down, down the roller coaster. Sweet, sweet baby, sweet, sweet, don't let me go. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. Shimmy, shimmy, cocoa pop. Shimmy, shimmy, rock. I met a girlfriend - a triscuit. She said, a triscuit - a biscuit. Ice cream, soda pop, vanilla on the top. Ooh, Shelly's out, walking down the street, ten times a week. I read it. I said it. I stole my momma's credit. I'm cool. I'm hot. Sock me in the stomach three more times.

Man, I'd gladly watch "The Notebook" if Drew Butler promised to sign with UGA so I can make Billy from "Big" jokes for the next 5 years.

You're Josh Baskin, remember? You broke your arm on my roof! You hid in MY basement when Robert Dyson was about to rip your head off!

GO DAWGS!!!

71 days and counting....

2007-01-19T08:33:00.000-05:00

You can feel it coming. It's out there in the distance...like a beacon, like a beacon burning brightly fueled by the flaming, rotting carcasses of the dead college and NFL seasons. Opening Day. Major League Baseball Opening Day. Say it, let it course through your veins like high quality heroin bought off that dyslexic guy downtown in front of the Grill...what's his name? It's weird...like some sort of futuristic moniker that only the drug-adled could think up...Lorex! That's it. Holy crap...have I said too much? You catch the drift though....baseball, beloved baseball begins in just 71 days. Pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training in less than 30. And don't worry...I know you want to say it, so I'll just say it for you...it's about slam-damn time.
What my heaven looks like - see right there in the first row...behind the O's dugout...Jesus, Houdini and Charlamagne and it looks like Jesus is keeping score.

Why I am telling you all this...what has got me all caught up in a baseball tizzy (one of the fiercest tizzies imaginable)? Because today, after a week of vigilant checking, Barnett's Newstand downtown finally stocked the FIRST of the baseball preview magazines. Granted it's only the fantasy baseball preview, not the more in-depth team by team preview edition, but still it's the first sign that soon we can all stop pretending to care about the NFL and move on to the National Pastime.

So to just give you a taste to whet the insatiable baseball appetite we all harbor...I present to you the Sporting News Fantasy Baseball First Round Mock Draft:

1) Albert Pujols - no brainer at #1, the best hitter in baseball even if he is a Barry Bondsian whiner/bad teammate.

Respect his game, just don't look at him or talk to him if you're on his team.

2) Ryan Howard - a beast of a first baseman and only 27...so good it's scary.
3) A-Rod - I am not ashamed to say that I love A-Rod. He's one of favorite baseball superstars and I hope the Yankee fans boo him so much they are forced to trade him to Baltimore for a package that includes Haydenn Penn, Brian Roberts and Melvin Mora.
4) Alfonso Soriano - personally I would have probably chosen Soriano over A-Rod, just because of the stolen bases...though he is going to the Cubs which probably means he will be mauled by wolves in the Arizona desert during Spring Training, be involved in a tragic mini-putt accident while playing a foursome with Mark Prior, Kerry Wood and Steve Bartman, or suffer some other weird Cubsian disaster.
5) Johan Santana - Hmm...a pitcher this high? Not for me. But if you have to take a pitcher might as well take the best one in baseball...next to Erik Bedard that is.
6) Jose Reyes -Did you see this guy's numbers last year: .300+, 20 HR, 60+ SBs the kid is a beast and apparently is a force when playing Jenga.
7) Vlad - Again, I would have Vlad a little higher, probably ahead of both Johan and Reyes purely for his consistency and he's got a great name and swings like he's strung out on Lorex's good stuff.

Is he about to crush a homerun or club a litter of excess puppies to death? Who cares...it's just Vlad bein' Vlad.

8) Carl Crawford - Has about the same numbers as Reyes but Reyes is a shortstop. Still he's got da skillz as the fly fresh youngstahs would say. If he gets traded to an actual Major League team his stock would sky-rocket. Somehow I just think I would be dissapointed if I came out of the first round with Carl.
9) David Ortiz - Would refuse to draft him purely because he is a whiny, sissy, Red Sock. If I'm taking a DH in the first round I'd take my bizz-oy Hafner.
10) Chase Utley - I will never forgive myself for dropping Utley the first week of the season a couple of years ago when I found out that he would be platooning with Placido Polanco. I consider that the worst mistake I've ever made in my life next to murdering my imaginary childhood friend Steve...yeah...imaginary.
11) Lance Berkman - Really Sporting News? Lance Berkman? No doubt he had a monster year last year but he's an oft injured power hitter at a position where there are a million power hitters. I think I would rather have a Beltran, Ichiro, Bay, or Tejada here.
12) Miguel Cabrera - This kid is 23! Can you believe that? Seems like he's been around for ever. Great hitter who will only get better assuming he doesn't eat his weight in chicken fingers over the offseason.

Like riding a bike, eh?

2007-01-17T19:19:00.000-05:00

I apologize for interrupting your focus as you break down the 8 player BLOCKBUSTER trade that just went down in the NBA...but I gotta blog it up. It's been a while. The honest reason is mostly laziness...but sprinkle a little "I'm trying to sell my condo and I've been constantly cleaning" into the normal "busy" mix and I think I got a hell of an excuse. No? You don't think so? Well, piss off and scroll down to the bottom of this entry.

Now do I have your attention? Well, good. This entry is meant to be a sports/pop culture/politics Schmogasboard...so I'm going to spout out what needs to be said bullet-style.

Thanks to JMass for totally ballooning my expectations for "Children of Men" and the 4 hour season premier of "24". Both were good, but "COM" wasn't better than any movie since the '80s (it's probably not in my Top 3 for this year for cry eye) and "24" was same old "24". Someone you like dies, something shocking happens. As a matter of fact,

"24" deserves it's own bullet point, don't cha think? Granted I've only seen one full season of "24" but the formula is becoming as predictable as a Marcus Giles at bat. Seems to me that the writers realize that each year has to get more shocking to hold the attention of the viewers. President assassinated last year in the first episode, friggin nuclear weapon explodes on U.S. soil in the premier this season. There's was a preview of next week's episode where Bauer explains to Bill "I'm back in this now" since the bomb went off. Well, Jack, I guess that's the case for me too. But, like you, Jack, it's against my will. What's the shocker for next year? 1/2 the world explodes? Jack Bauer realizes that he can go down on himself? Sorry...was that a little too much? A little too shocking? Don't tell Fox, otherwise JB will be giving himself BJ's next year for the "shock value." Clever aren't I?

Anyone else still watch The Apprentice? Didn't think so. Real quick, though, this season the losers of the tasks have to sleep in a big tent called..."Tent City". I wonder where the Donald got that idea (I would link to the AJC article...but it's no longer available).

Speaking of all things tailgating, who's ready for college football to be back? First game's in 3 weeks right? Well, shoot. At least there's still recruiting. Rival's new Top 100 came out today. A few of UGA's recruits moved up way up in the rankings, specifically Aron White, who was previously outside the Top 100 and now is #38 as well as Antwane Greenlee, now # 65 who continues to worry me since he flaked out on FSU to come to UGA and is still talking to FSU. I'm going to nickname Greenlee "The Flake"...I don't think he'll mind. According to Rivals, Caleb King is now our 5th best recruit, which comforts me a bit since my Dad tutors Caleb's sister and she claims that Caleb got a, well, let's just say that he didn't do so well on the SAT. Hello Hargrave. UGA still has some blue chippers on the big board, specifically Cameron Heyward (Ironhead's boy who'll probably go to OSU), and Allen Bailey (dude lives on a friggin island). Other than that, we're pretty much finished up. Expect a Top 15 class...but the main objective was achieved since we'll sign 8 offensive lineman (5 of which are already on campus).

Staying on the sports path, what are the Braves thinking? I think Gonzalez will be a fine reliever, but I thought they had a closer in Wickman. LaRoche has the potential, now that he's on medication, to be one of the best left handed power hitters in the game. Look at his numbers in the 2nd half of last season. At the 80th game of last year LaRoche was hitting .237 with a .321 OBP. By the end of the season, his average was up to .285 and the OBP was at .354. Wouldn't you let that momentum ride into 2007? I don't understand why the Braves suffered through the growing pains of LaRoche for 3 years, then when he finally hits his stride, they deal him. It's like holding onto Apple stock for 3 years and selling it right before they released the plans for the iPhone. Oh well, at least Schuerholz got it right with "Cross Eye".

ah herrr. Derrr.

Seriously, still nobody has seen Keane? I ned to talk to someone about this movie.

I'm interested to see what JMac thinks about this next point. Sonny Perdue wants to make Georgia the fishing capital of the world. I agree that it's going to improve the state economy and probably be good for the environment. But c'mon...let's be honest. Sonny wanted to improve something he loves doing. Wouldn't adding a wing to some museum improve the economy? Wouldn't improving the highways allow workers to get to work quicker and improve the economy? Nope...fishing. Ridiculous, and, don't get me wrong, the only reason it's ridiculous is because I don't fish. If I were governor, I'd be getting pressure from Stanicek and a bunch of others to put $19 million into the state Tailgating Budget and I'd spin it that it would be great for the economy since we'll be encouraging visitors to tailgate in Georgia. How is nobody calling him out on this?

Bill Simmons has officially lost it and I'm FINALLY fed up with his Boston bias. It kills me that the article that put me over the edge has to do with basketball, but this one is a direct attack at one of my beloved teams. Here's the lines that made me gouge my eyes:

The last great basketball teams were the Lakers and Celtics from the mid-'80s. Both were blessed with selfless superduperstars (Bird and Magic), genuine Hall of Famers (McHale and Parish for Boston; Worthy and Kareem for the Lakers) and valuable role players (DJ, Ainge and Walton for Boston; Cooper, Scott and Green for the Lakers). And both teams reached heights that haven't been approached since. They were the last two teams that dominated in a competitive league and routinely submitted those occasional "not only are we winning this game by 25 points, just send the tape to Springfield after it's over" games.

Not even a mention of the Bulls teams that would've won 8 titles in a row if MJ didn't retire. Not even a mention.

AND

Would the '86 Celtics have beaten the '96 Bulls in a seven-game series? Too difficult to say. For instance, Pippen would have guarded Bird in that series, and there wasn't anyone remotely resembling Scottie Pippen in 1986. So how could you know? Compare their relative impacts and it's a different story. The '86 Celtics were greater than the '96 Bulls because they excelled against tougher competition, they were invincible at home (50-1 at home if you include playoff games) and their top-six was better than Chicago's top-six. You will never convince me otherwise.

I know everyone's getting bored with me talking about NBA, so I'll keep this short. Michael Jordan put up 63 on the Celtics in 1986 when he didn't have a supporting cast and took them to overtime BY HIMSELF when he was just 23 years old. And just because there wasn't a player like Pippen in 1986 doesn't mean that he doesn't count...he would've shut down Bird like no other. Ask Magic in 1991 when Pippen owned him in a non-sensual sense.

There...no more basketball. Happy? OK, this is long enough. Gotta save some material for my book tour. GO BEARS!!!...oh, and sneak another peak at my rump.

.
now, mind ya bizness and keep reading

Giles arrested!

2007-01-17T09:10:00.000-05:00

This is the kind of energy Atlanta needs! Too bad the Braves gave up on this sparkplug...looks like it will be another lackluster year for the Braves, led by guys like LaRoche who can barely keep his eyes open on the field.

If you're like me, frothing with excitement over the prospect that Opening Day is less than 74 days away (as you can see by the countdown clock to your right)...check out this...pitchers and catchers report in LESS THAN 30 DAYS!!!!

Whack Jack....

2007-01-11T13:02:00.000-05:00

The season premiere of "24" is right around the corner and I have to say...If Jack doesn't get knocked off soon I am going to bail on this show. (Spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen last season yet) I can't explain to you how dissapointed I was with the season finale last year...no substance, no shock, just the President getting placed in a limo and some stupid red herring "cliffhanger" ending. I commented on this over at JMac's blog last year but with the new season creeping up I thought I would chime in one last time. How great would it have been if at the end of last year when that Chinese official had Jack on his knees, gun to his head...he just pulled the trigger it all goes dark and the season is over?! Fantastic! Fox could continue to ride the Keif-nami by just doing a few prequel seasons...what happened to Jack down in Mexico when he got hooked on smack, that's a season. How did Jack get to CTU in the first place, what sort of wacky missions did he take part in as an up and coming agent, that's a season. But as of right now...this show is going nowhere.

Which brings me to my problem with TV shows in general, particularly serial dramas. The writers have to fill upwards of 25 shows a season which means that really all you need to do is watch the first five and last five episodes of each season...all the rest is just filler and meaningless conundrums that the characters get out of. That's why I can't bring myself to watch any sort of serial drama outside of "Lost" and "24" (sorry "Heroes")...because I know from episode 6 to 20, no matter how exciting it looks, nothing is going to happen. Why force yourself to watch 25 hours of programming when a movie crams as much plot into two hours? TV shows drraaaggggg themselves out waaaaaayyyy too long. And as for "Lost"...if it goes past 5 seasons I might have to take the train to "See ya-ville". I can't justify spending thousands of hours of my life watching a show that gets so convulted and drawn out that I don't even understand the end even when it comes (see: X-Files).

Unless you are referring to "30 Rock", "Curb Your Enthusiasm" and any episode of "The Office" that has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do whatsoever with Jim loving Pam and vice versa.

So shake it up "24", kill Jack, do prequels, break the mold, go the distance, do the Dew and other associated and various slogans and/or cliches.

Hall of Fame Part 2

2007-01-09T15:41:00.000-05:00

In what was really only a formality, it was announced today that Cal Ripken, Jr. , the greatest shortstop in baseball history, will be inducted into the National Baseball Hall of Fame in July. The only dissapointing news is that eight idiotic baseball writers out of 545 failed to include the Iron Man on their ballots and should have their credentials revoked and fingernails removed slowly and methodically. There is absolutely no good reason to leave Ripken or Gwynn off a ballot, the are the definition of a Hall of Famer. These writers were only trying to make a buck and get their face on ESPN...good job fellas you prevented two of the all-around greatest players to ever take the field from making history so you could get blasted by John Kruk on Baseball Tonight...you are all class.

Hall of Fame Part 1

2007-01-08T13:53:00.000-05:00

Athenians, music lovers, and lead singers who like to wear glitter and blue eyeshadow rejoiced today as it was announced that R.E.M. will be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in March. Also on the inductee list, Van Halen, fellow Georgia football-Tent City denizen John Hart's favorite band...do I smell tailgating on the streets of New York in front of the Waldorf-Astoria? I'll bring the herring salad, you bring the TV and we'll drink the day away while clogging up traffic by playing cornhole on Broadway.

I hate suburban Chicago.....

2007-01-07T11:51:00.000-05:00

No one in their right mind could mount a worthwhile argument that Gwynn and Ripken shouldn't be the first unanimous Hall of Famers in history. However, this jacka** from Chicago clearly is jonesing for some attention and will prevent these two greats from achieving that honor.

-------------
Of the 178 members of the BBWAA who answered the question about Ripken's induction, only one, Paul Ladewski, a columnist for the Daily Southtown in suburban Chicago, said he didn't vote for Ripken. "In an attempt to uphold the Hall of Fame standards established by their predecessors, I will not vote for anyone who played in the 1993-2004 period, which I consider to be the Steroids Era," Ladewski wrote in an e-mail to The Sun last month. "That includes Tony Gwynn, Mark McGwire and Cal Ripken Jr."The San Diego Union-Tribune did a similar poll as it applied to Gwynn's candidacy, and of the 233 responses it received, only Ladewski said he would have reservations about voting for the Padres' eight-time batting champion.Ladewski, a BBWAA member since 1984, confirmed last week that he submitted a blank ballot, which, in effect, will be counted as a "No" vote for all candidates."It's not an anti-Cal Ripken vote or an anti-Tony Gwynn vote; it's a vote about not knowing enough, in my opinion, of the Steroids Era and performance-enhancing drugs to make the kind of decision that needs to be made," Ladewski said."From my dealings with Cal Ripken Jr. in the past, he was very pleasant, a good ambassador for the game, and his numbers speak for themselves," Ladewski said. "But I don't have enough information on the [steroids] subject to make a decision."
----------------

NOT an anti-Ripken vote? NOT an anti-Gwynn vote? Sure, you're punishing two of the greatest, most respected, most revered players in baseball history for the sins of that steroid-pumping cheater McGwire...but that's not anti-Gwynn or anti-Ripken. I knew I hated suburban Chicago...and anyone from there.

So...conflicted...

2007-01-06T13:04:00.000-05:00

Is Bill Simmons trying to get back on my good side or is he just trying to f with me? First he blasts Cal Ripken for no good reason, then he asserts that anyone that doesn't vote for McGwire into the Hall of Fame is a crackpot...so just when I thought I couldn't loathe this guy any worse (remember he already has 2 3/4 strikes against him off the bat because he is a Red Sox fan) he goes and writes a column in which he showers college football with love AND, more importantly, links to a story penned by my brother-in-law (its in the box to the right of the column, #3 under the title "Listen Up") for the Washington Post and saying it will restore your faith in sports journalism. I'm going to have to climb a Himalayan moutaintop and meditate about this whole Bill Simmons thing...I'm so torn...wait....no I'm not...he trashed Ripken AND he's a Red Sox fan...that's unforgiveable.

Haimtastic

2007-01-04T16:27:00.000-05:00

Got 10 minutes and need a laugh?

A REAL sportswriter chimes in on the Hall of Fame...

2007-01-04T15:19:00.000-05:00

Good ole Ken Rosenthal...here is an INTELLIGENT article regarding the Hall of Fame (i.e. not back to back columns blasting Cal Ripken and then claiming it is OUTRAGEOUS for anyone to think that Mark McGwire shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame). Please note Ken's observations regarding Cal's fielding so stick it Pasqua...unless you know more about baseball than a guy that has covered baseball every day of his life for the past 20 years.

This is how ya do it

2007-01-03T13:08:00.000-05:00

Well crafted argument by one of my favorite writers. I wish I could explain myself so clearly. Long live the BCS!!!

Rebuttal to the most asinine column ever printed; or: Bill Simmons = Stalin

2007-01-03T10:04:00.000-05:00

Read that "article" by hack "sports" writer Bill Simmons (who in actuality writes more about the non-sport NBA and 90210 and the OC than real sports like baseball or college football so can he really be qualified as a sports writer?)...needless to say that is the last time I ever read his filth again. Basically an ode to irresponsibility and everything that is wrong with sports today...Simmons disputes Cal Ripken's greatness and touts the greatness of such "heroes" as Mark McGwire. I received this article courtesy of an email from JMac and responded to him in the following manner...let this also serve as my response to my less honorable friend Pasqua who simply went ahead and posted this trash on our shared blog:
---------------
Jmac,

The whole story is ridiculous to me because the whole premise of the article is that Cal was not "great" because he didn't pump himself full of illegal drugs so he could club 800 foot homeruns (a la McGwire and Bonds), be a complete prima donna and utter attention whore AND pump himself full of illegal drugs (a la Pedro and Gooden), because in actuality he really wasn't that great of a player but ooooh! He did backflips before a game (a la Ozzie Smith), or because he wasn't the undisputed "best player in the history of the game" (a la Jordan).

Listen...Simmons' and I just don't evaluate baseball players in the same way...by his own admission in this article he is qualifying "greatness" almost purely on charisma...and admittedly Cal didn't have it. Cal didn't do cartwheels before games, Cal didn't start bench clearing brawls by hitting opposing playes in the head, Cal didn't take illegal drugs and turn into a behemoth at the age of 37, Cal didn't ruin his sporting career ane become a footnote of sports history by playing two sports. Cal didn't demand the media spotlight every single night by faking illnesses and slinking off to bars instead. And really this is what it boils down to...Simmons is a Red Sox fan...he loves the drama...the intrigue...the Mannys and Pedros of the world...he wants his players to be media whores...Cal was not that.

Wait...which one of these did Simmons say was "great"?

Cal did everything the Orioles, his team and his managers asked of him with the diginity and skill of a Hall of Famer. Cal didn't need to make miraculous plays at shortstops constantly because he used his intelligence, because he studied that game so meticulously and each batter so carefully that he would set himself up perfectly to turn amazing plays into routine groundballs. Cal wasn't in the playoffs every year because unfortunately he had to play for one of the worst owners in baseball history. Cal was a force in the middle of the lineup for the Orioles for over two decades and while his numbers in this steroid-fueled age (which is perpetuated by douchebags like Simmons who demand players to have "charisma" or "WOW-factor) don't seem quite as gawdy now he was the definition of the type of player you wanted batting third in the 80s. Cal redefined the position of shortstop for future playes like A-Rod and Nomar...without Cal there is no A-Rod. Before Cal all shortstops were wirey, fast, no-hit fielding specialists. Cal made it OK for a 6'5" power hitting athlete to play the position. Cal is and was the epitome of all that is right with baseball...I'll let Bill Simmons keep his Pedros, Barrys, Mannys, and McGwires...I'll take Cal or Tony Gwynn (Tony fits Bill Simmons' anti-Cal criteria to a tee) any day.

TIM

PS - It should be noted that Bill Simmons is just plain wrong about Cal's numbers "declining" because of the streak"...first of all there is his 1991 MVP season a full 9 years after the Streak started, he was on pace during the 1994 strike-shortened year to hit .315 with 20+HRs and 100+RBIs, he batted .280 with 26 HRs and 100+RBIs in 1996 and batted .340 with 20 HRs at the age of 38 in 1999 after the Streak of 2632 consecutive games was completed.

Finally

2007-01-03T08:29:00.000-05:00

Someone just cried while reading an article...and that someone is Stanicek. Hahaha. Eat it. I think Simmons could've replaced Ripken's name with Palmeiro's and the article still would've worked. It would've enabled him to write another few paragraphs about what a liar he is too.

Also, has anyone ever seen the movie Keane? I enjoyed it but have no idea what the hell was going on. Help.

Bowl Predictions Via Chat Cast #2: READ IT DAMMIT!

2006-12-28T16:55:00.000-05:00

Tim: Chat cast HO!
Matt: DO IT ROCKAPELLA!!!
Tim: Welcome all to Chat-Cast 2...I'm sure you were all waiting and excited for the sequel
Matt: indeed. the only way we can top the last chat-cast is if we get NEGATIVE 1 comment on the blog
so, suffice to say, we're playing with the houses money
house's....hice...house'es'es.
Tim: HA! Do you think the masses are more excited about the next edition of the chat cast or the release of the new Cedric the Entertainer/Lucy Liu vehicle, "Codename: The Cleaner"?
Matt: neither. they're most excited about the new sphere UGA tailgating chair I got for Christmas.
Tim: Holy jeez...now you have the cumbersome, intrusive, heavy, sphere chair...you sphere chair people think you are SOOOO great. Well, I'll be just fine thank you in the electric green and/or pink chair
Matt: those are both mine too ponch
Tim: We best get to picking considering the Alabama/Ok St game starts in 20
Matt: This game...Codename: Snoozer. I got Bama pulling off the mild salsa upset
Tim: I am going to say you are a moron - Go Cowboys
Matt: actually, it won't be that boring...I'm trying to get off work tout sweet to catch some of this action
Tim: And before we get too far into this...can I remind everyone of our current stats after the last chat cast:
me - 7-1 you - 2-6
Matt: being that nobody read that chat cast, I'll go ahead and say that you're lying. Hell, I don't remember typing it. I was high on red wine and grouper.
Tim: I have a word document detailing each and every pick...I've sent it to the National Archives for official documentation
Matt: OOOHHHH, the Bowl Pool. Yes, I decided to forgo trying to win these early games and focus on the big ones. I officially start caring today.
speaking of caring, how about Rutgers. They running out of wood to chop or what TKALLDAY?
Tim: No not the bowl pool you dink-uzh, I wrote down all of our picks when we made them during the chat cast...jeez...anyway - I am going with K-State, they are 7 point dogs.
Matt: K-State is a solid pick too. They spoil everyone's bowl game. Just like a polo or a pair of slacks spoils a decent Christmas day, eh Scrooge?
Tim: Don't get me started...there were some clothing related items under the tree for me this year...needless to say I tried to fake as many smiles as I could and then threw them in the ole trashcanola.
NEXT - Holiday Bowl, Cal is a 5 point favorite over TAMU - I am going with Cal even though the Pac10 blows
Matt: tis the season. So we both gots K. State...I guess I have to change it up Tom Glavine-style and hit up the Aggies. Mmm...Aggies.
a footnote about the Bama game why I want to run home and see it. We play both those teams EARLY in the season next year. How's that? Interesting? Yeah, not so much.
Tim: I just want to see if they have a little girl, robot, or fuzzy little bunny as their head coach.
Matt: maybe they'll read this chat-cast and hire us on the spot. I call O-Line!!!

Live feed from Chat Casting Central located at an undisclosed military installation four miles beneath the Earth's crust. Matt is third row third from the left.

Tim: NEXT - Music City Bowl - Clemson is a 10 point favorite over Kentucky...you know who I got...ooooooo....C...A...T..S CATS CATS CATS
Matt: I can't, in good faith, root for the ACC over the SEC. Nor can I root against a loveable team that actually beat us. AAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW C...A....T...S CATS CATS CATS
Tim: I am watching ESPN waiting for the Bama game to start and they are advertising the Two A Days Season One on DVD...why would you buy that? Do I really want to see that over and over and over again?
Matt: in a word. Yes.
But season II is coming out on MTV and....SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT...Hoover don't win no dagum Alabamer State Title this time round dagummit.
Matt: and Coach Probst's head explodes
Tim: NEXT - Sun Bowl - Oregon State is a 3 1/2 favorite over Mizzou...I my friend am staring at a Mizzou sandwich with some Tiger mayonnaise spread over the bun.
Matt: over the bun? Gyyyosh. Gimmee Mizzou. Their old basketball coach was a young kid with pretty greasy hair. I liked him. I like Mizzou football tomorrow at 2pm
Tim: Oh yeah...Quinn Snyder...I am going to name my son Quinn or maybe Quint
Matt: we gotta squeeze 6 more games in so ARRIBA ARRIBA TKWHATYOUSAY
why not go Squint Kelly Jr.
Tim: I was thinking maybe Squinty McQuinnabun Kelly...but it's up in the air...NEXT - Liberty Bowl - South Cack a 6 1/2 favorite over Houston - I am taking South Cack, no way they blow a crappy bowl like this two years in a row, after all they've only been to about 5
Matt: South Carckalacka is my call on this one too. As long as they can contain Akeem and The Glide, they should be hoisting the Liberty Cup come about 8pm tomorrow night. That'll be a sight to see
Tim: NEXT - THE BIG ONE...Champs Sports - UMD a 2 point fav over Purdue...it's all about the turtles kid
Matt: Maryland my foot. Gimmee Purdue. I'm sure we'll play them in the next 2 years so this is good karma rooting for them now
Tim: Wow, that's pessimistic...no more Big Ten bowl opponents for us unless its in a BCS...NEXT - Insight - Texas Tech a 6 1/2 favorite over Minnesota. I can't believe you aren't booking a charter jet to go out to this game...needless to say we know you are picking the gimmicky offense over solid fundamental Minnesota....and so am I
Matt: oh baby. Get ready to see more points than a pointer finger convention. Crap, that didn't work. Just give me my damn lock. TTech is going to rock you. Shi*...0-2 on this one for a funny comment
Tim: Whew. Why don't you take a breather there Matty...maybe go buy a knock-knock joke book to rejuvenate the funny juice. NEXT - Car Care Bowl - BC a 6 1/2 favorite over Navy - me? I like Navy because I like America....except for Boston...I hate Boston
Matt: Well then give my Boston. Speaking of knock knocks. Knock Knock
Tim: Who dere?
WHO....WHO..WHO DERE?
Matt: I'm thinking. Um...sausage
Tim: Sausage who?
Matt: Sausage until the door won't open anymore
or something
Tim: BINGO! Now that's comedy...or something like that. NEXT - Alamo - Texas is an 11 point favorite over Iowa. I hate Iowa...and Boston. So give me Texas
Matt: ahhhhhh screw Texas. Gimme the Hawkeyes. JESS Settles needs to come back for this one and dominate. So does AC Earl
Tim: NEXT - PEACH BABY! UGA! UGA! UGA! I pick UGA.
Matt: Hmmm...this is tough. What's the spread?
Matt: UGA UGA CMR UGA UGA UGA UGA UGA Matthew Stafford UGA UGA Asher Allen UGA UGA UGA MoMass UGA UGA UGA UGA UGA Tony Taylor UGA UGA UGA. That's about as bipartisan is I get.
Tim: On an unrelated note - I went to Barnes and Noble today and used the H out of a gift card. B and N didn't know what hit'tem. NEXT - MPC Computers...Miami a 3 point favorite over Nevada. I like Miami, they may not beat you but you definitely won't leave that field without a shiv in the thigh and a promise of bodily harm made against your family
Matt: Miami. Can you believe we just lost a recruit to them? What mother looks at "The U" and says "hmm...long history of thugs, horrible academics, no coach, guys get shot, and there's constant brawl. Plus, they're not very good. Mmm...this is perfect for my baby. Where do we sign?"
Tim: Bingo. Who'daya pick?
Matt: Gimme the Nevada...um...Casino Whores is it?
Tim: I think it's the Nevada "Loose Slots Like Our Hookers".
Matt: ALRIGHTY. Thus ends, what will soon be, a chat-cast that "looked great on paper but failed to relate to its audience". Well, that's how we like it. If you're coming to the Peach, be sure to stop by Tent City. Call Tim. I don't get service, my phone will be dead, too busy, bad knee, wind tunnel.

6 things

2006-12-22T14:18:00.000-05:00

Per the request of J-Mac, I guess I'll participate:

1. Every Thursday I will go online to publix.com and check out their weekly ad. I guess it's the 70 year old woman in me, but the truth is that I simply love Publix and it gives me ideas of what to eat that week for dinner...which is the house-wife in me.

2. I'm probably one of the fastest people you'll ever meet at getting out of a car. Put in park, parking break, seatbelt, turn off ignition, take out key, open door, close, BAM. Lock. Meanwhile, if I'm paying for something in cash, I take FOREVER to get my change and put my money into my wallet.

3. My feet look like they have aliens coming out of them. You just have to see to understand.

4. If we're ever about to leave for something I'm excited to get to, you'll probably see me start to pace. At that moment, know that "HURRY UP YOU FUC*ING SLOW MUTHA FUC*ER" is probably going through my head. What I'm trying to say is that I'm impatient.

5. At least twice a week some sort of my dream evolves around the fact that I haven't graduated college, I'm in college during my senior year and am about to not graduate, or some similar version. I graduated college 4 years ago and somehow this is my #1 fear. How's that possible?

6. When I think about the happiest place on earth for me the first thought that comes to mind is a Georgia tailgate with everyone there before a big game or after a big win. Aww.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you get to wherever you're going to safely and without too much hassle...basically, the exact opposite of my girlfriend (trying to get into Denver) and my sister (trying to get out of Denver). Ho ho ho!!!

Argument du jour....

2006-12-18T16:09:00.000-05:00

This warm and sunny Monday brought out another argument between Pasqua and I that I feel is both interesting, timely, and earth-shatteringly important. The issue is simple...do you enjoy getting clothes as a gift for Christmas? I will insert the caveat that women are going to have an entirely different take on this issue so I pose this question mainly to the men.

My stance - H*LL FRICKING NO! I can't tell you how much I hate getting clothes, any item, any kind, any how, as a present. Is it some sort of lingering attachment to my childhood? Have I really ever broken free from childhood? Was I attacked by a male model wielding a stunning boot from the fall line on a city street as a child? Or is it just that the acquisition of clothes should be kept where it belongs...in the "chore" column of life? I goodsirs and gentlewomen maintain the latter. Christmas is a time for fun, merriment, and cheer not for having to feign enjoyment as you open yet another box to reveal...a shirt...whoop-de-doo. I want to see books, DVDs, CDs, games, tickets to sporting events or concerts, absurdly impractical items that have a Georgia logo somewhere on them....not...socks.

If I got these for Christmas...a little part of me would die.

I hate shopping for new clothes. It's like going to the dentist or having to watch "The Prestige"....something that just has to be gotten over with and never thought about again. So why bring such a mundane and boring task into a joyous time like Christmas? Not only do clothes just ooze boredom as a gift, it is very rare that 1) someone actually gets you something you like and 2) something that fits. So there you are with some boring shirt/pants that you have to return, but you most likely never do because you forgot you even got it midway through discovering it was clothes, so it just sits on your hanger with all the tags on it until you move and then you're like "Good God...that is ugly, I guess I'll just give it to Goodwill". Pasqua said "well what if someone gets you something you asked for specifically and got the exact right size?" or something along those lines...to that I say, well at least its practical and wearable but its still boring because you knew you were going to get it. You might as well just get cash.

The only exception to the clothes rule is that if the clothing is fun (i.e. Orioles/UGA paraphernalia) it is acceptable. Thoughts? Concerns?

Yay...I guess

2006-12-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

Reckon you need some good backups to win too. Admirable, but unless there's an injury I'm fairly confident that Joe's legacy will be some perverted jokes and a really orange head...plus a great 4th quarter against Colorado.

3 years from now, I fear Joe will be saying
"it was an honor to wear the green practice jersey."
Go Dawgs.

Speaking of former UGA quarterbacks, HAHAHAHAHAHA.

OH SWEET LORD LET IT BE!!!!!

2006-12-15T10:14:00.000-05:00

The long Mid-Atlantic Regional nightmare may be coming to a close...Cal Ripken may come galloping in on his pearly white steed and snatch control of the Orioles out of the bony, arthritic hands of the vile demon Angelos! Some of my favorite snippets from the story...
---------
"While past discussions between Ripken and Angelos failed to advance, Ripken, according to one source, is now "guardedly optimistic" that a deal eventually could occur"
--------
YES! "Guardedly optimistic"! That's pretty much the same as a done deal, right?!
--------
"The owner is speaking with other potential buyers, a source with knowledge of his discussions said, and in the end might prefer to leave the team to his sons, John and Lou."
--------
NO! Good God NO! The only thing that was keeping me going through these nine straight losing seasons and fourth place finishes was knowing that Angelos was old and one day...well one day we would have a new owner. His sons are even more idiotic than he is...
--------

Which one would YOU rather have run your team? The King of Baseball or Gollum?
-------
"If Ripken were part of an Orioles' ownership group, he likely would want the role of club president — and a return to the franchise's past foundation of scouting and player development."
---------
Scouting?! Player Development?! Hmmm....your plan intrigues me...but I do like Angelos' steadfast adherence to forsaking the minor leagues and focusing entirely on luring washed up veterans well past their prime who might sell tickets the first two weeks of the season and then lead us to at most 64-73 wins, see: Bobby Bonilla, Will Clark, Chris Sabo, Albert Belle, Pat Hentgen, Sammy Sosa, Delino DeShields, Fernando Valenzuela, Jeff Conine (twice), Sid Fernandez, Jimmy Key, Pete Incaviligia, David Segui, Doug Jones.....
-----------
"Orioles owner Peter Angelos just might be the most unpopular man in Baltimore. "
---------
Might be?! Unless Osama Bin Laden is hanging out at the Sheraton-Inner Harbor than yeah...you can go ahead and replace "just might be" with "is".

Oh it would be a day of much rejoicing when/if this announcement is made. I picture myself lying on the grass in Cooperstown, NY on July 29, 2007 watching Cal take his rightful spot among the greats in the Hall of Fame and mid-way through his triumphant induction speech he announces the sale is official and DING DONG the witch is dead! Cal is taking over and the Orioles fans, I amongst them, rip into a cheer that can be heard from space. What a day it will be....

Bowl Debate

2006-12-14T09:25:00.000-05:00

Over the past few weeks, Stanicek and I have been exchanging emails like two heavyweights exchanging uppercuts in a title fight. While I could copy and paste those emails and save myself a lot of time, I wanted to lay out my argument in a civilized manner and really present my case as to where I stand on going to bowl games. And when I say civilized, I mean Stanicek eats boogers and I want the world to know.

My loyalty was questioned when I made it apparent that it would probably be pretty tough to pull me out of Atlanta to travel to a bowl game like the Outback, Cap One, Music City, etc. While I'd love to attend these games, they're just not as appealing as a road trip to a regular season SEC game for multiple reasons:

1. Money. Bowl season comes right after the holiday and the cookie jar is always a bit empty as some might say. Hit me up when I'm 55 and retired with nothing to do but go to mediocre bowl games and we'll talk...hopefully I'll be talking with a cool accent that I developed while spending a few years in New Zealand, a scar, and standing next to my large estate. Now...not so much. Plus, any bowl trip undoubtedly leads to more expensive ticket prices, hotels, farther destinations which mean more gas, etc. I'm not broke by any stretch...but I'm also not trying to be broke.

2. Work. Now that most of us have entered a normal work schedule, a New Year's Day Bowl Game will almost always force me to miss one...if not two days of work. Back in college this translated to skipping class which I would probably do anyways so it wasn't that big of a deal.

3. The atmosphere. Here's where Stanicek and I bitterly disagree. While I love road trips with friends, I just don't see enough reward of going to see UGA in stadium where the Bucs play and it's against a team I know nothing about...or choose to know nothing about is probably a better way of putting it (Purdue, Wisconsin, etc.). The opportunity cost just isn't high enough. And anyone who took econ in college knows what I'm talkin' bout.

Go Dawgs???

4. The Stakes. I will always say that I'd rather win ANY regular season SEC game over the bowl game. Let me clarify. Would I rather have beaten Kentucky or Vandy more than Va Tech in the upcoming Peach Bowl? Probably . I contemplated suicide after losing to these teams...probably a feeling I won't have if we lose the Peach Bowl. Does anyone really care that we lost to Boston College way back when? I'm not saying that I'd rather beat Kentucky more than a foe in the Sugar Bowl...but if there's an equal comparison, I'll always choose the regular season win in the SEC.

I'll counter these arguments with why I prefer to save my road trips for SEC games during the regular season.
1. Money. Typically a ticket to an SEC game on the road is cheaper than you'd find for a Bowl tikcet. J-Mass contends that he never goes to the game with a ticket and will almost always find a ticket for face value at the time of the game. The roadtrip we took to the South Carolina game this year was great because I was able to crash at a buddy's place and nobody had to fork over the chee$e for a hotel room. Never the case for Bowl games unless they're in Atlanta (which is one of the many reasons I'm excited for the Peach Bowl...and yes, me saying that I'm excited for a Bowl in Atlanta is causing Stanicek to rip his eyes out.)

2. Work. Drive Friday, game Saturday, drive home Sunday. No time off. Bada-bing.

3. The atmosphere. Where would you rather see a game? On a historic campus of another school from the SEC or in the parking lot of some NFL stadium? I CAN'T WAIT for the trip to Bama next year. It's #1 on the list of schools I need to visit and it's my "can't miss" road trip of 2007. I even loved going to the Vandy and Kentucky games a few years back. These are the schools of our conference and I feel like it's almost my duty to see these places.

4. The Stakes. While I kind of stated my stance on this earlier, let me tell you what Stanicek would talk about...and pretty much how'd he'd write it. "So you're telling me that you don't want to see two Top 25 teams play on New Year's Day in a game that's Nationally televised...AND it's the last game of the season? You make about as much sense as a one legged cow peeling bananas." My answer to his question would be yes, I would love to see that bowl game in person. But see my previous reasons why I'll probably pass and take other road trips during the season to SEC games.

It's not that I'm boycotting bowl games...I simply choose to attend the games where I feel like I HAVE to be in attendance each year (every home game, GA/FL, Auburn (as long as I don't have a wedding to attend), South Carolina, Bama, etc.). That list may expand in the near future but it's my stance right now. Both Sugar Bowls (New Orleans and Atlanta) were great and I'll probably continue to attend Sugar Bowls whenever UGA makes it in. They're no brainers...but other bowls are a different story.

Like I said, knock on my door in 30 years and ask me to head down to Orlando because UGA tennis is having a exhibition game against Orlando State and you'll probably hear me say "grab the beer, I'm driving." For now, I have to pick the road trips and games that are going to give me the most satisfaction. As Stanicek would say, "you are who you are because you do what you do." He's usually high.

Article

2006-12-13T08:46:00.000-05:00

This is exactly why I'm rooting for the SEC in the bowl games.

And this is exactly why McGwire doesn't belong in the Hall. If he doesn't want ANYTHING to do with his past, than the voters should do the same and not revisit it. He wants to be a forgotten person and the voters should grant him that wish by not voting him into the Hall of Fame where the discussion will most certainly continue and his past will be revisited. I wish Bonds, Palmeiro, and Sosa would do the same thing as McGwire and vanish to save himself the agony...but most importantly, their family's the scrutiny that surely follows them as long as they're in the limelight. The rumors a few weeks back that Palmeiro and Sosa were wanting to come back made me sick.

Great article by Barnhart in the AJC.

To Root or not...

2006-12-11T14:46:00.000-05:00

A great debate this last past week has arisen since Florida's been announced as the other team in the BCS title game. As a UGA fan, who should you root for?

The answer is simple to me, but here's how a typical debate has gone down.

Me: C'mon Gators, let's get up and go!

Dummy: That's ridiculous. Don't root for Florida. We all know that the SEC is the best conference. We don't need a Florida win in the championship game to prove that point.

Me: Not true. All the sports writers across the county are doubting the SEC's reputation this year and it's on that reason we need to show them how much better this conference is than any others. Believe me...I watch "The Sports Reporters" every Sunday.

Dummy: But I HATE Florida. I mean, I really hate them.

Me: And I like them? I hate Florida just as much as the next guy. In fact, they just passed Georgia Tech as my most hated team in college football, but you're not getting my point. I'm not rooting for Florida, I'm rooting for the SEC.

Dummy: Wonderful Pasqua. All I need for next year is to go to Jacksonville for a Florida fan to do the National Championship dance right in my face.

Me: Have you ever enjoyed going to hang out with Florida fans? Have your encounters with them in the past been positive...even the years we've been there and have won? How about the year that Zook was on his way out and they were actually a very bad team? I had the same hatred for them that year that I do this year when they're very good. They rip our hearts out every year so they won't have to use the National Title argument. This is a sad fact...but true. No way a Florida fan could be any more obnoxious than they already are. Whenever it comes down to talking smack-a-lack, the only defense we've had for the past 10 years is some sort of phrase that involves "jean shorts" or "redneck fuc*er"...we really can't bring up the games. So they scream "National Title" over and over again. I'd rather them say that than continually bring up their record over UGA lately.

Dummy: I don't know...I just can't bring myself to do it.

Me: Well, I can tell you who Mark Richt is pulling for, how's that for convincing? It helps the SEC and that helps UGA. So get our your wrist bands and wife beaters because DAAAAAHHHH DAA DAAAAHH DAA DAAA DAAAAAH GO GATORS!!!. Uh oh, I may deserve a beatin' after that. Well, bring it on ya sissies pants.

do yo dance do yo dance. Mmm...

Chat-Cast #1

2006-12-08T22:02:00.000-05:00

Welcome loyal readers. I would be doing a dis-service (sp) to craft a lengthy intro. Instead, just enjoy and let your compliments flow like the booze obviously was while we wrote.

tkelly78: had a couple of brews but nothing to damaging, you? is this part of the entry?
me: why not. I had a delightful meal with friends. Several vinos and I'm back
9:03 PM ready to analyze some bowls I know nothing about
tkelly78: WELCOME to the first edition of Pasqua and Stanicek's chat-cast of the bowl season...we believe this is the first ever chat-cast in human history...right?
me: If by first you mean, FIRST...then yes.
9:04 PM I'm having a hard time concentrating when all I can think about is the Allen Iverson trade that will soon happen. Stanicek...I'm sure you share my struggle.
9:05 PM tkelly78: right, excuse me, I did mean FIRST...and as for Allen Iverson, yeah it's eating at my mind like a zombified brainworm...I, for one, hope the Bullets trade Jeff and Moses Malone for AI.
9:06 PM me: I heard that's a possiblity. Jeff Malone. Wow, the last time I thought about him is probably about the same time I thought about Youngstown State. Segway ladies and gents...seg-way.
9:07 PM tkelly78: Yep - what a segway considering I didn't realize we were doing 1-AA games tonight. That's a surprise. Much like your dinner order tonight.me: Speaking of grouper, real quick TK, can you tell me, once again, for those who didn't hear our conversation earlier, what your 17 keys to victory are for Appalachian State in this matchup in reverse order.
9:10 PM tkelly78: #1 Stop being Appalachian State and be somebody good;
#2 - #17: See #1
Wow - we are really sidetracked...let's get to the dang BOWL GAMES KIDDO! First up on the hit parade...the Poinsettia Bowl, TCU v. Northern Illinois, TCU a 14 point favorite...who do you like muchacho?
9:11 PM me: how is that the first game? I got youngstown State and App State tomorrow at 4pm Tito
tkelly78: Are we doing the fricking I-AA playoffs now? I thought we were sticking to division I bowl games like the rest of us god-fearing Americans?!
9:12 PM
me: Fine. Briefly (like my underoos)...I got Yougstown State manana getting 6.5.
9:13 PM As for Northern Illinois, didn't they have a Heisman candidate on their squad for a while?
Before the public realized that the kid was playing for NORTHERN ILLINOIS?
9:14 PM tkelly78: They sure did, Garret Wolfe...finished the year with 1900 yards. You like? Me - I'm going with TCU and their stud player...uh...Johnny...yeah... Johnny Quarterbackking
9:15 PM me: Being that my best friend (eat it Stanicek) went to Northern Illinois, I have to go with Norther ILL. They're getting 11.5 points for crissakes. NIU! NIU! NIU!!!!
9:16 PM So we're head to head on this one. Put the dogs to sleep via a needle to the neck...this chat-cast is getting heated!!! (please note...we had a quick technical difficulty right here)

925 PM tkelly78: Hey no prob - I don't blame Comcast as much as I blame your supposed best friend...that guy's trouble. He's a bad influence...remember the time he made you drink a bottle of Pert Plus just to see what happens? 9:26 PM me: Yeah, that hospital trip was memorable. He's good people though. And so are Northern Illinois football players. Sure, I know the names of.........mmmm..........1 of them. But they've got a cover in them
Land Of Lincoln represent!!!
9:28 PM tkelly78: Next up - Las Vegas Bowl kids - Mormons v. Ducks...BYU favored by 3 1/2 over Oregon. This one...is a toughie...I don't think Oregon is good but Mormons scare me (not really to all our Mormon readers...I kid) I think I'm going with the mid-major in this one...GO MORMONS!
9:29 PM me: Mormons...what a fun word. Say it 4 times quick. Oregon has this kid by the name of Hawsakooch that is supposed to break out this week. Thus, my pick is the Duck. Plus, I saw someone eat duck tonight so that's a sign
9:30 PM tkelly78: Duck huh? You go to some swanky restaurants dontcha? I'm talking swanky swank....swankier than Hilary Swank.
9:31 PM me: http://www.horseradishgrill.com/menus.htm There you go. If you can guess what I ate tonight, then I'll agree with you on the next pick. Or I'll disagree and argue. Good luck. This is the most important selection of your life
9:33 PM tkelly78: Well good cause the next came is the New Orleans Bowl featuring two of our favorite teams...Troy State and Rice...Rice zooms in as a 6 point favorite....BUT I am going underdog on this one and saying Troy State comes out and covers in the Big Easy. And remember kids, if you are heading down to the Big Easy for the game go out in groups to be safe...groups...groupers...you ate grouper
9:35 PM me: I'm not kidding when I say this, you're 100% correct. Troy v. Rice. Two 4 letter schools. Coincidence? I...think...not. Rice is an underrated side dish and Troy was an underrated movie. Coincidence? I...think...well, I guess I think so. Anyways, I gotta go with Rice. 6 point favorite for a game I know nothing about says that team is favored for a REASON so we should expect a blowout.
9:36 PM Quick question. When you get Chinese do you go steamed or fried?
Follow up, what would we serve at Tent City if we were playing Rice???
9:37 PM tkelly78: First off - Troy sucked - sucked hard.
Second - its fried baby
third - I would say herring and rice balls deep fried in ham fat
9:38 PM me: First, you're right but I thought my sentence flowed better if I said they were both underrated. Second - No way. Third - whatever dude. Let's get to the battle of the DIRECTIONS!!!!
tkelly78: Ah yes - next up is the worst name the bowls have seen since the Poulan Weedeater Bowl...yep loyal readers its the papajohns.com bowl! South Florida taking on East Carolina, south florida is a 4 point favorite - who do you like?
9:39 PM me: Good karma to root for Florida during bowl season. Give me South Florida on this one.
9:40 PM And yes, that answers the question about who I'll be rooting for in National Champ game. Daahhh da da da da daaaa GO GATORS!!!
tkelly78: Me? I like the Bulls of South Florida? Why is South Florida the Bulls? Is South Florida that well known for its bull population? Shouldn't they be the "Cheesy Rednecks" or "Drugged out teenage partiers" or "Dead German Tourists" or "Excuse me sir do you have your green cards"?
9:41 PM Alas, I too like South Florida. BUT I will be a staunch supporter of Ohio State
me: then we agree. I can't wait to watch this game together and curse as South Florida crushes our hopes and dreams and pisses us off for weeks.'
9:43 PM tkelly78: NEXT - the New Mexico Bowl...surprisingly featuring...NEW MEXICO and they will be taking on San Jose St, New Mexico obviously is a 4 point favorite. I am riding the San Jose gravy train all the way to Coversville.
me: AYYY AYYY AYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!! 3 words and 3 words only. Gimme New Mexicoso.
9:44 PM I root for all things Urban Meyer for the rest of this year, so let's cut to the chase. Utah baby. Utah.
9:45 PM And yea, feel free to blame that last bit of reasoning on the wine
9:46 PM tkelly78: Yep - the Armed Forces Bowl...since when did the Armed Forces get a bowl? I don't even get it. It used to be food products...i.e. Sugar, Orange, Peach...now all of a sudden we are naming bowls for organizations, I can't wait until Georgia plays in the Glass Cutters Union Local 76458 Piscataway, NJ Bowl
9:47 PM ANNNNNNYwho - Armed Forces Bowl - Utah a 1 1/2 point favorite over Tulsa - THIS kid is taking Utah but I do not acknowledge that Urban "The Whiner" Meyer ever coached there
9:48 PM Just saw a commercial for some NBA guy named Pau Gasol - he looks like the unabomber.
me: Give me the Utes for $200 Alex. Lindsey just made me put on Jeopardy in the background while she cooks for tomorrow's party.
9:49 PM Gasol is injured right now...you should know that as a responsible sports fan
9:50 PM 2...games...to...go
9:51 PM tkelly78: Yeah, right, the NBA is a sport...the NBA is a sporrt like wrestling is a sport. Speaking of that party of yours - is now a good time to tell you that we only have half of the money we owe you because Carrie paid all of our bills and didn't leave enough money in the checking account because I forgot to tell her that we owed you that money...ALRIGHT - the HAWAII BOWL!!! Hawaii is a 7 1/2 point favorite over Az state.
me: Speaking of favorites, the Kelly's just dropped a bunch of notches in my list of favorite people. Get used to the pictures in your head of Tim with unbroken thumbs. And, with that, give me Arizona State.
tkelly78: Ditto - I am taking Arizona State as well AND I just broke my own thumbs to deprive you of the satisfaction and you know what...it hurts just as much as you think it would.
9:54 PM me: well that makes me feel great. Too bad I was going to break your 4th toes as well. Get to breakin fat boy. And with that, we get to the last game.
tkelly78: Our final game for the first chat-cast is the Motor City Bowl featuring Middle Tennessee State and Central Michingan..OF COURSE Central Michigan is a 10 point fav. This one will be a back and forth game just like we've all come to expect from these two teams...cause we've seen them so much.
9:57 PM me: I decided long ago never to walk in anyone's shadow. That, and I take Middle Tennessee State in EVERY spread after they almost beat UGA a few years back. Gimme MTS +10. I like this line better than the line I'm about to sni...GOODNIGHT EVERYONE!!!
9:58 PM tkelly78: I shall kiss you on the forehead tenderly if you can tell me what the mascots of these two teams...I goodsir will be taking the Chippewas over the Blue Raiders..DANGIT...well it looks like you have a tender kiss comin' Pasqua
10:00 PM me: I still am going to break your toesies. See that J-Mass? Toe'sies. We just finished our pick'ies and I'm about to get another drinkie to cap off the nightie!!! Hope to see everyone at my party-ie ie.
tkelly78: And-ie am-ie out-ie

Tent City Productions presents....

2006-12-08T11:08:00.000-05:00

World renowned filmmaker Scott Hartman's latest masterwork chronicling the highs and the even higher highs of UGA's squashing of Tech....

Frustration to the O'sth degree....

2006-12-08T09:35:00.000-05:00

Sorry - just let me vent for a bit...

I won't lie...it's not fun being a fan of a baseball team that has finished below .500 and in 4th place every year since 1998...that's 9 years in a row...pushing a DECADE people...yeah, it's tough. However, I could almost accept it if our GM and front office was only incompetent (which they are), you know, the sort of incompetency that leads them to believe giving Albert Belle a long term mega-deal and surround him with nobody else in the lineup and no pitchers is a good idea...the kind of incompetence that signs Jeff Conine, David Segui, and Sidney Ponson TWICE....that I could live with. But what I can not live with is when our GMs actually go out, work their hindquarters off to pull off a deal to make the team better (or at least try a new direction for gawdsakes) and that fat, maniacal, greedy, schlub owner of ours Peter "The Antichrist" Angelos VETOES IT!

Told you he was the antichrist

Ole Petey has been pulling this sh*t since October 1993 when His Accursedness took over our fair ballclub in beautiful Baltimore, MD. Last year the O's were poised to pull off a mega deal at the trade deadline that would have shipped Miguel Tejada to the Astros (just a few weeks before the "Tejada Used Steroids" flap hit no less) for Roy Oswalt and Adam Everett, immediately the Orioles would have then sent Oswalt to Texas for Hank Blalock and another prospect. Essentially the Orioles were getting three young promising players for Tejada...I'm not saying it would've been the best deal ever but it sure would have shaken things up on a team that hasn't sniffed third let alone first or second place since the pre-Lewinsky days. But what happens...the Crown Prince of Ownerly Darkness vetoes it because "Tejada is too popular of a player, he sells tickets"...VETO.

Then...just this week...the O's are on the brink of pulling off another blockbuster...Brian Roberts and a prospect for Adam LaRoche and Marcus Giles. This would have addressed our need for a big bat at first and to bat cleanup in LaRoche and essentially was an even swap of second basemen. Enter the Dark Lord..."We can't trade Brian Roberts, he's too popular a player, he sells tickets, and the ladies love him"...VETO. HEY! You know what else sells a lot of tickets? Probably even more that B-Rob flashing a smile at some pre-pubescent girl? WINNING!

Here's the recap of the deal in today's Baltimore Sun:
-----------
"They did essentially agree to a trade that would have sent second baseman Brian Roberts and pitching prospect Hayden Penn to the Atlanta Braves for first baseman Adam LaRoche and second baseman Marcus Giles, but the trade was squashed by Orioles owner Peter Angelos. "
-----------

By denying every trade that comes across his desk Angelos is dooming the Orioles to a lifetime of fourth place finishes. Angelos won't sign any free agents because he says they cost too much but they only cost too much because no one wants to play for a loser like the Orioles so the GM has to compensate by offering the player even more money...it's a vicious circle and one that was very obvious this year...see Carlos Lee, Alfonso Soriano, and Jason Schmidt (all had deals from the Orioles and in the case of Lee and Schmidt were offered MORE money by the O's than the deal they finally signed but still turned Baltimore down).

I'm not saying we have to go out and be the Red Sox and offer $51 million to every Japanese guy on the street that can throw a fastball just to get back at the bigger, better Yankees...I'm just saying that the current system is not working, you would think nine years of 4th place finishes would have clued Petey in on that, and Angelos needs to finally let the people he hired to make baseball decisions make them.

I mean seriously...what other team in all of sports is so pathetic and lead by such an evil owner that it causes its fan to rise up and protest?!

September 20, 2006 - Over 1,000 fans leave Camden Yards in the middle of the game to protest Peter Angelos' destruction of their beloved Orioles.

Shout Out

2006-12-07T13:16:00.000-05:00

Hat's off to Gene Wojciechowski of ESPN.com for pointing out the best stories of the college football year that didn't have to do with anything but student athletes who need to be recognized.

You've probably heard about a few of these but Gene does an admirable job to devote an entire article on the premier sports website to these heroic kids and coaches.

Plus, Gene has a horrendous last name which is always near and dear to my heart. My top 5 ridiculous last names in sports right now:

5. Mientkiewicz
4. Samardzija
3. Szczerbiak
2. Houshmandzadeh
1. Tuiasosopo

Hmm...4 of the 5 have a "Z" in them. I guess I could've added Przybilla, Grudzielanek, and Pierzynski for continuitzy zake. Wow, that's lame...but so am I.

p.s. UGA just landed it's 3rd verbal committment of 2008!!! CMR and company have recruiting on cruise control.

My Idol

2006-12-06T16:08:00.000-05:00

While all you guys grew up listening to Munson or Skip, I grew up listening to the Hawk and still do the rare times he's on TV. There's never been a better 1-2 punch calling a ballgame than Ken Harrelson and Tom Paciorek through the late 80s and mid 90s. I could listen to them every night...and actually did as a kid. If you haven't hear Hawk call a game, be sure you do this summer whenever the White Sox are on WGN. He's like the Northern version of Munson...trust me on this. The only person who sounds somewhat like Munson after a huge play is Hawk.

It's like the sound the ocean makes against a baby's bottom. Wait...smooth as the tide on a newborn. Shi*. It's smooth, okay?

So Congrats and here's to hoping you make it into Cooperstown.

Holiday Cheer....

2006-12-04T19:44:00.000-05:00

Had a few seconds in between studying for finals and playing computer Hearts to throw down a post to keep things fresh around here...

I felt the need to expand on a comment I made in the college football picks from the previous week...the Christmas Movie Top Five. Yes, Christmas is right around the corner, in case you haven't been hit in the head with enough Christmas-themed ads to remind you, (speaking of ads with Christmas songs in them - what is the deal with that song from "Sound of Music"...I believe it's called "Favorite Things" or "A Few of my Favorite Things" or some such...since when does this qualify as a Christmas song? "Sound of Music" isn't a Christmas movie its about crazy antics involving strange blonde kids, a nanny, and Nazis...so why does this get the OK from the Council of Christmas Music?) which means it's time for Christmas movies. I L-O-V-E Christmas movies...they are simply fantastic, the cat's meow, the cat's pajamas, and the cat's cats. They remind me of growing up, wrapping presents, and taking nips from stray, unclaimed mugs of egg nog...all that is right about the season. So without further adieu...Stanicek's Top Five Christmas Movies...

5) White Christmas - purely a nostalgia pick on my part. My family used to wear this one out around the holidays and my sisters could be heard from anywhere in the neighborhood belting out the song "Sisters", featuring a young Rosemary Clooney, when it is sung about 20 minutes into this Bing Crosby vehicle. Definitely the least impressive on this list however and I would not be offended if someone slid "A Christmas Story" in at this spot.

4) Scrooged - for a long time this film was woefully underappreciated by the masses but thanks to the fact that there are now 178 cable channels that need to fill air time...it is having a rebirth. This is Bill Murray playing the same character he played in pretty much every comedy he was in from 1980 to 1993....the smarmy, wise-cracking, a-hole...and man...is he GREAT. If you don't laugh at "LEE MAJORS IN - THE NIGHT...THE REINDEER DIED", "The bitch hit me with a toaster", "Oh my GOD! Does THAT suck", or "I'm sorry...you know I thought you were Richard Pryor" than some part of you has died.

Bill Murray? Carol Kane? Robert Goulet? Lee Majors? Bobcat Goldwaith AND Buster Poindexter?! NOW THAT'S A Christmas movie!

3) A Christmas Carol (1951 - Alistair Sim version) - Sanford Stadium holds 92,746 and there just as many versions of Dickens' story...however, this one takes the cake. As far as I'm concerned there has been and never will be another Ebeneezer Scrooge like Alistair Sim. This film transitions from creepy (a scene with tortured souls writhing and lamenting around a street child and woman) and dark (it looks fantastic in black and white) to joyous with remarkable ease. And as for Sim...if you've seen it - you know what I'm talking about...he is the King of Scrooge - he makes George C. Scott and Patrick Stewart his Srooge bit*h.

Now THAT'S a Scrooge...the look almost screams "George C. Scott...I OWN you!"

2) Holiday Inn - Bing Crosby and Irving Berlin make their second appearance in the top 5. This is the film that introduced the world...for the very first time...to the song "White Christmas". However, it is quite a remarkable piece of cinematic gold aside from that famous bit of trivia. Bing opens up an inn in "Coh-nech-tuh-cit" that is only open on Holidays and starts a rivalry over a lady with fellow entertainer Fred Astaire. This movie is top notch old school Hollywood musical...and contains one of the most jaw-droppingly racist songs/dance routines during a musical number on Lincoln's Birthday (but hey, it was 1940...look at it is as a bit of American history).

Got to love old movies - where the answer to any of life's problems was to get slam damn hammered.

1) It's a Wonderful Life - Could it really be anything else. Jimmy Stewart was a classic...he just oozes Americana and this film is right in his wheelhouse. The person that looks me in the eye and says they don't get the least bit choked up when George reachese for Zuzu's petals or when Harry Bailey bursts in and says "To my big brother George, the richest man in town!"...is the person that had their soul sold at auction for a nickel.

I know Uncle Billy didn't really wind up in the mental institution thanks to George...but the booze...all those wild animals he lives with...the obvious dementia...I'm just saying it's something the Bailey family might want to look into.

Blake. Blakey Boy

2006-12-04T16:21:00.000-05:00

I feel bad for this kid. He has no chance to play yet he's the first guy you see on TV whenever they show a close up of Richt because he's always got his headset on and is focused on the game. I'm sure the Bulldog nation gives Blake our blessing to transfer...I know I do. Sorry it didn't work out but if you're looking to get some playing time, UGA probably isn't the best fit.

Same goes to Danny Ware.

Budget Cut Pick'em

2006-12-02T08:24:00.000-05:00

Alas, it is finals time and blogging must take a back seat to allow ample time to mire myself in grade mediocrity. So this is your bare bones pick 'em. Good for pretty much nothing except ensuring that I don't miss a week a picks and short change you the way Pasqua always does.

Lines from Danny Sheridan 12/2:

LAST WEEK ATS: 4-4-1
OVERALL AT: 43-38-2

West Virginia -9 1/2 vs. Rutgers - Rutgers had their big win against Louisville and it is written in ancient lore that the Scarlet Knights shall only have one big win a decade.

Southern Cal -13 @ UCLA - You think teams "overlook" a game that decides whether they are in the National Championship? Nuh-uh. Plus I heard people talking about UCLA's homefield advantage...HOMEFIELD ADVANTAGE? This is the Pac-10 people! UCLA will be lucky if less than 50% of the stadium isn't on their cell phones at any given time.

Wake Forest +2 1/2 vs. GA Tech - Speaking of fans - can you believe the apathy being shown towards this game. Let me rephrase..."I am not surprised at all by the apathy being shown towards this game." Tech having to reduce the price of its student tickets to get ANYONE to come to this game is the most pathetic thing I've ever heard. On another note kudos to Jim Donnan for coming up with a great name for this game on his radio show (I hope I get this right): "World's Dullest Outdoor Cocktail Party".

San Jose State -4 vs. Fresno State - SJS AT HOME PEOPLE! Easier to pick than an empty six pack ring out of an arcade crane game.

Oklahoma -3 1/2 vs. Nebraska - My five favorite holiday movies in no particular order: It's a Wonderful Life, Scrooged, Holiday Inn, A Christmas Carol (1951 Alistair Sim version), and White Christmas. That's all you need.

Oregon State +8 1/2 @ Hawaii - Because I said so.

Florida -2 1/2 vs. Arkansas - Do it.

Army +19 1/2 vs. Navy - Cuhmon.

Colorado State -2 1/2 @ San Diego State - As you can tell I am running out of time.

BONUS 10th PICK - California -29 vs. Stanford - Sorry this was such a lame effort. But I had to read and if I procrastinated anymore I would feel even worse today as I pretended to study with a book in my lap and Reggie Ball whining and throwing picks on the TV.

Check out Joshua's bevy of NFL picks...just don't call them pickies.

Mc Picks Alot

2006-12-01T08:59:00.000-05:00

Who's ready for some conference championship action? Can you feel the excitement? Me either...but it's our duty to watch. I saw a Florida flag on my way into work and it made me nauseous and that single visual made it 100% Krystal clear who I'm rooting for this weekend. I was thinking that I would play the "We CRUSHED the team that beat the team that won the SEC and should be in the National Title game" but F that...it's back to the "look at the guy in jean shorts cry with his boyfriend" hopes.

Army +19.5 @ Navy
When in doubt, choose da boats. I saw a projection that Navy will play Clemson in their bowl. GREAT SEASON CLEMSON!!! No matter what, that team will have 7-8 wins and that's it...it's in their bylaws or something.

Stanford +29.5 @ Cal
I'm sick of everyone talking about how Cal is the high definition TV of college football. Blow me Cal. Speaking of high def, I just got it set up on my plasma and you're all not invited to watch it!!!

USC -12.5 @ UCLA
USC's offense and defense is SO pretty. Hell, I'll say it right now that they win the National Championship...screw the Big 10. Dwayne Jarrett dropped a haymaker on Calvin Johnson and ended the debate about who's the best reciever in college football. They're simply fun to watch...so damn pretty. As a matter of fact, the only way to compare the prettiness is...well...look down.

As Dwayne Wayne said in "White Men Can't Jump"..."it's pretty...so pretty."

UCONN +28 at Louisville
Wow could I care less about this game? I would make a pick on Rutgers vs. West Virginia but the bookie I use does't have it set yet. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict a PUSH in this game. That's right...if EITHER team covers the spread I lose. Final is 48-20. Wow...now I'm kind of interested in this game to see if Louisville wins by 28. If I get this pick right, I'm going to proclaim that I'm the Man of the Year. Granted, I've won this award the previous 25 years since I make up the entire selection committee, but still.

Wake Forest +2.5 vs. GA Tech
NERDS!!! I wouldn't bet on this team if they were playing themselves in the ACC Champioship. They can't beat anybody is what I'm getting at. Kudos to Doug for calling out Reggie Ball for what he really is. A no-talent ass clown who, next year, will be telling me "third theatre to your left" after tearing my ticket stub. I bet he gets fired from that job after giving the stub to the wrong person too often.

"To Hell with Georgia. To hell with allergy season for that matter. GLLLAVIN!!"

Arkansas +2.5 vs. Florida
Everyone debates the BCS and how much of a crock it is. I'm one of the few who's fine with the way the system is right now. What I don't understand, and I'm not sure why this topic doesn't get more debate, is why some conferences have a Championship Game and some don't. Another topic that doesn't get much attention...why I don't eat more fruit. Every time I eat fruit it's a taste explosion and I wonder why I don't eat more. Anyone have this problem?

Nebraska +3.5 vs. Oklahoma
The other night I had a dream where my buddy was running for Governor and I was his main campaign person. SOMEBODY apparently didn't agree with our platform because, in my dream, I go to my car and get in but realize that there's someone in my back seat and before I can get out he slits my throat. Literally there's blood everywhere and this dude runs off like he's The Flash. Luckily I wake up before I die but my question is would I rather actually live out that dream or watch this game?

There you have it. Check out Josh's NFL extravaganzzzer for all the Pro knowledge you can handle BROTHA!

Now that's funny

2006-11-30T16:49:00.000-05:00

I could watch this clip over and over again. Something about DeVito drunk as hell hugging these broads makes me laugh. Plus, anytime I can catch some "View" makes me a happy viewer. Alright...I'm done.

UGA UGA UGA UGA

2006-11-29T17:27:00.000-05:00

Can someone tell me if this is good? I think it is and here's why:

If WillieMart would've left there'd obviously be a vacant position at Defensive Coordinator. I have to believe that EVERYONE would be calling for Will Muschamp to return to Athens where he belongs. Had THAT scenario played out, I think it would've been the end of Rodney Garner as a Bulldog. He almost left the first time Richt passed him up as DC...another pass on him would've been too much. As good of a recruiter as Garner is, I have to believe that if he were truly qualified to be DC, he would've been promoted after Van Gorder left.

With another year or two of Martinez as DC will be good for UGA. While I wouldn't have thought that 3 weeks ago, I do believe it now...and hopefully Garner will stick around and continue to bring in the studs he always does.

I wish I could add audio to this post because Munson's call after the go-ahead TD last weekend was sent to me. It's classic Munson. Let me know if you want me to email it to you...or if you'd just like to hear me do my best Munson impression. It's something along the lines of "and we're kicking and clawing and reaching and hurting."

I hope everyone enjoys their dinner tonight!!!

I cried dammit...I CRIED

2006-11-27T15:42:00.000-05:00

Much like the tears were building in my eyes last year with DJ Shockley hoisting the SEC trophy, I had the same feeling watching Reggie Ball walk off the field Saturday. Remember how we chanted "DJ, DJ, DJ" at the Dome? I never thought we'd chant another quarterbacks name to honor his career in less than 12 months. Boy was I wrong.

UGA and Auburn lost two huge champions of their program in successive days. Auburn lost their favorite coach of all time in Shula and UGA lost their favorite QB of all time in Ball. A sadder two days for respected programs I cannot recall.

My deepest and most sincere apologies about not getting my picks done before this past weekend's games. Family and the holiday reigned supreme over the chance to blog. 1,359 apologies.

I want ideas on New Year's. Something fun. Any thoughts? I was thinking about throwing a Reggie Ball themed party. Everyone could come as their favorite Reggie Ball of the past 4 years. The 4 different Reggie's you could come as would be:

1. "Concussion" Reggie. Walk around in a daze and leave half way into the party.
2. "Throw the Ball Away on 3rd Down" Reggie. Pop the champagne at 10:59pm, fall asleep 10 minutes before the countdown, throw your drink away immediately if you "don't like what you see", etc.
3. "Do okay until the final moment" Reggie. Have a few good one-liners, set up your better looking friend with a hot chick (like Reggie did for Calvin on that fade route in the 2005 game), but ultimately make a horrible decision right as the night's on the line...kinda like screaming "I pissed in the punch ya sissies. DRINK UP!!!" right before midnight.
4. "Just Plain Sad" Reggie. Maybe go to a party and get beat up by a guy 4 years younger than you. Or go to a party and hype it up that this is the year you're going to surprise everyone and be cool...then show up just in your boxers. Everyone will be kind of grossed out and won't want to talk to you...even your close friends. Then, as you continue to fart in a corner and smoke inside while it's clear that there's no smoking inside, the others at the party chant your name to make you leave.

What NFL team do I hate? Hmm...I guess I'd have to say The Redskins just because they're Stanicek's favorite. Here's to hoping the Skins draft Reggie Ball. God...Bless...Reggie...Ball.

Reggie fumbles as he realizes "oh wait...phew. It's 1st down and fumbles don't count unless they're on 2nd or 3rd down. Hamburgers are good when grilled...especially when I have ketchup."

Happy Picksgiving everyone!

2006-11-23T22:47:00.000-05:00

It's finals time around the hallowed halls of the University of Georgia School of Law and with my upcoming annual MANDATORY mid-finals day off coming up Saturday for the last home game of the year, the picks this week have to be short and sweet so I can get back to doing what I do best, studying for ten minutes and then ripping off about 10 consecutive games of "Hearts" that I "announce" using my inner monologue like it was the Rose Bowl..."Where will Kelly go here...we're thinking 5 of hearts...and...NO...BOLD MOVE...he's throwing the King of Spades...Mabel wake the children 'cause Kelly's trying to Shoot the Moon!".

Well, it's probably for the best considering how miserable I was last week. I now hover at .500 and the horrid stench of mediocrity surrounds me...I'm not used to this...I'm not mediocre at anything...except school...and athletic competition...and singing...and driving...and creativity...and...

Last week ATS: 3-6
Overall ATS: 39-34-1

Kentucky +19 @ Tennessee - I've stuck by my C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS...all year...so much so that they even betrayed me by beating my D-A-W-G-S DAWGS DAWGS DAWGS! But I think the motivation of playing for second place in the SEC East is enough to overcome that UT home field advantage and propel Woodson and the boys to a 17 point loss and cover.

NC State -3 vs. East Carolina - I call it stuffing NOT dressing. In fact I think anyone that says dressing needs to have dirty gym socks stuffed into their mouths and then beaten with a rusty egg whisk...everyone except for my wife...and Cal Ripken if he says "dressing"...and Jesus...but I am pretty dang sure Jesus said "stuffing" but I bet his stuffing included a bunch of gross stuff like figs.

Jesus...he could turn water into wine, walk on water, but he couldn't keep these things out of the stuffing...Judas said it "ruined the whole meal".

Florida -9 1/2 @ Florida State - With all apologies to the LadyEagle (again...I don't know why I bother because neither her nor John "Captain Moe-ron" Hart read this thing...but have you SEEN the Seminoles...I'd rather watch Pasqua regurgitate his 7th Thanksgiving meal in less than a week onto a dinner platter.

UNC -7 @ Duke - Zoinks homefield Blue Devil advantage - worth at least...a complimentary tube of Cortaid.

Reading the back of this box is equal to or greater than the excitement generated by Duke football.

LSU Pick'em @ Arkansas - I'm sure you all listened to the podcast so there's no need to discuss this game again...what was your favorite part of what I said...I thought so.

Clemson -5 1/2 vs. South Cack - What do you think Santa's cholesterol is? Seriously, the North Pole probably doesn't get many vegetable shipments...this kid's got to be eating elk meat 24-7-365...and boy is elk meat riiiccchhh.

San Jose St. -6 @ Idaho - Are you kidding me with this line? It's more appealing than a forkful of cranberry, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and turkey dripping with gravy...ooo boy someone's going to be having some weird Thanksgiving food-induced dreams tonight.

Boise State -3 @ Nevada - Follows my age old rule "Always pick Boise State until they play a team that you can name the mascot of within 4 seconds". 3...2...1...see I told you to pick Boise.

Ole Miss -3 vs. Miss State - The Egg Bowl...the EGG BOWL? That's what they came up with. There better be a GREAT story behind this game. What a stupid name...why don't we just call the UGA-Ga Tech game the Falafel Classic...or the Zagnut Rumble. Stupid.

Stop HIM! He's stealing Dextah Mah-Cluh-Stah's Giant Golden Egg Shaped troph...ahh, forget about it, tell him he can keep it.

Sorry - told you it would be short and sweet and probably light on the humor...well you know what...bite me...it's pretty tough to read about RICO conspiracy all day and then have some nameless gaggle of online readers demand the funny from you....alright, sorry bout that...I guess I should have said "light on the humor, heavy on the anger".

So sad...so pathetic

2006-11-23T09:06:00.000-05:00

Not only has Georgia Tech failed to sell out their allotment of student tickets to the ACC Championship Game...they've had to reduce the price by $20 to get someone...ANYONE to buy.

You have GOT to be kidding me....

2006-11-22T10:12:00.000-05:00

For those of you who know me it will be no great, breaking news bulletin that I am certified Lord of the Rings geek (though I prefer the term "junkie"...I've always wanted to be a junkie of something). So when this news hit the wire a couple of days ago...needless to say I was slightly peeved...

Here is the actual letter Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh sent

As I told a few friends - I have to assume that this is some sort of power play on New Line's part to resolve this auditing lawsuit going on between the studio and Jackson. Fan backlash has already been substantial and New Line has to know that they would be throwing away a sure-fire Top Ten All-Time Grossing Movie is they let Jackson go. At the same time I think the above letter from Jackson is a power play on his part as well - both sides are looking for leverage in this lawsuit and as the Variety article stated, the issue of Peter Jackson directing the Hobbit is far from decided. I anticipate some serious legal negotiations about the auditing lawsuit to go forward soon, a resolution will be achieved and Jackson will be asked back to helm the project.

The entangled rights of The Hobbit film is actually quite an interesting legal question and one I would be happy to talk with you about on an individual basis. However...I'm pretty sure if I wrote about it on this blog now I would be given an atomic wedgie at the upcoming GA-GA Tech game.

Podcast 11 - From Stanicek and the "Highly Disturbed Foaming Liberal"

2006-11-21T08:29:00.000-05:00

Podcast XI should be up shortly...enjoy...we gave you almost an hour...listen to it with the family while eating turkey and STUFFING....NOT DRESSING.

Picks EARLY

2006-11-18T08:46:00.000-05:00

You know what I LOVE!!! Whenever I have the opportunity to sleep in and simply can't. Through the week, I constantly have "I'll gladly pay $40 right now if I could just sleep for another 2 hours" thoughts running through my mind come 7:30am. I LONG for the weekend to sleeeeeeeep. And what happens on the Saturday morning where I could sleep until 4pm if I wanted? I wake up at 7:30am. Bright eyed. Wanting to kill myself.

I guess it was my blogging conscience that woke me up since I hadn't gotten these picks finished yet. But still bloggin conscience, I've gone through countless Saturday's this fall having to wake up at 6:30am to claim "the" spot on South Campus. You couldn't give me this Saturday? Well F you. I hope this blog entry stinks. No...I didn't mean that.

Thanks to Stanicek's picks, I have some decent games to pick this week. Thank you kind sir, I hope you enjoy your ribs today and have that pineapple juice you've been whining about.

Illinois (-2 1/2) at Northwestern
CHOO CHOO!!! Well, the train that is Illinois came off the track a little bit last week. It wobbled...if that's possible for a train to do. But all they have to do in this one is win by a field goal. Even a wobbly train could get that done.

easy...easy. It's just Northwestern.

Oklahoma State (+6) at Texas Tech
Let's remember that sand used to be a rock. The rock that is Texas Tech just had a strong gust of wind take a little smidge of it's surface and turned it into sand after last week's dissapointing non-cover. But the rock is still a rock. It's re-grouped and re-rocked. Texas Tech is, dare I say, ready to rock. Wow...my ability to "funny" has hit an all time low.

Texas Tech needs to throw the rock to win. Phew...I'm all punned out.

Michigan (+7) at Ohio State
Game of the millenium...but only for the planet Earth. I'm convinced that on some planet far away there's a huge rivalry game going on between the unbeaten Galactanoids and the unbeaten Nifebulums. Galactanoids storied coach, Roctarloch Craxwachlank, died yesterday too in a tragic phasetroid accident. This is shaping up to be a good one.

In all seriousness, I truly hope for a close game. Has there EVER been a better scripted scenario for a regular season game? Ever? I don't think it's possible. Too bad I'll be watching the Auburn/Bama game instead. F the Big Ten.

Auburn (-3) at Alabama
Auburn got blindsided by UGA. Bama lost to the better in Mississippi State. I truly believe that. There's a nice conspiracy going around that Auburn will throw this game just so Shula keeps his job at Bama...which would secure the next 4 years for Auburn. Interesting, but this isn't Da Vinci Code (which hits the shelves Tuesday), it's college football. Take Auburn in a close one...just like the Illumanati would've planned it.

Arkansas (-14) at Mississippi State
So I was at a Thanksgiving party last night (kind of weird concept, I admit, but a great time. I made a killer mac and cheese if you were wondering. You weren't? Well F-you. Thanks to the D'Amico's for hosting). The majority of those attending were Auburn fans and at one point I was playing XBox 360 against Jean (the host and huge AU fan). I picked up the controller and found myself knee deep in an NCAA football game between Auburn and Alabama. I'm kicking his as* and Kristin (Jean's fiance and converted AU, fan bless her heart) comes and says "Tov, what the hell are you doing as Alabama. Why aren't you Georgia?" to which I obviously reply in a laughing voice "Because that would be too easy". T'hank God that Jean didn't retort with some sort of "Vandy/Kentucky" response because that's already starting to get old. Later on in the evening I was discussing today's games and this one (Arkansas/MSU if you've already forgotten) came up. Jean actually talked about how Mississippi State has a chance to win and if they did and it's followed by an LSU victory over Arkansas, Auburn is representing the West. I found that intriguing because it's not the most ridiculous scenario I've heard. Now I'm nervous because I can feel this choke coming on by Arkansas...and I really don't want Auburn to go to the SEC Championship game. F Auburn.

Cal (+6) at USC
I'm sick of hearing how good Cal is considering the two times I've seen them play, they've dry heaved all over the field. F that team. USC is plaing for the big one and I see them smokin' these fools like Stanicek is going to smoke them ribs today. I wish I could have smoked ribs. Thanks for the invite dude...no really...thanks.

Michigan State (+18) at Penn State
Penn State has 4 losses. The 4 teams that they've lost to have lost a total of 2 GAMES!!! That's a rough schedule. Michigan is playing for Bo, Penn State is playing for Jo Pa's leg. Bigger motivation? Mmmm...too close to call.

WIN ONE FOR THE TIBIA!!!

South Florida (+17) at Louisville
Louisville probably wants to score 900 points in this game to prove that they're not a horrible offense. When was the last time the "#1 offense" was shut down like they were against Rutgers? It was like seeing a guy that always gets the girl use his "go to" line and striking out. Let's call this guy "Hohn Jart" for all intensive purpopses, remaining as vague as possible, and not ruining anyone's identity. That game against Rutgers went a little something like this:

Hohn Jart: Yo baby, have you ever eaten a PB and J after visiting the zoo?
Broad: That would normally work, but you're a bastard.
Hohn Jart (reverting to his last resort...speaking like an old Italian accent): Whadaya mean ma bella? I'm a gonna treat you like a thin-ah slice of proscuitto.
Broad: F you Hohn. Louisville sucks too.

**sorry for all the F-Bombs. I guess I'm pissed off about not sleeping in. F me.**

Mich/Ohio State

2006-11-17T17:20:00.000-05:00

I have to admit that I'm more interested in the Auburn/Alabama game tomorrow, but this really puts the Michigan/Ohio State rivalry into perspective. AU/Bama is the best rivalry in the country, but Woody vs. Bo has the greatest stories.

Picks to come...daddy's been "busy". Man I hate having a job.

Picks coming tomorrow from me...but for now...

2006-11-17T12:23:00.000-05:00

I want this to be done to my kid's baby picture someday.

The Tale of Sir Pick'ems....

2006-11-17T10:47:00.000-05:00

Loyal readers – Wifeicek return from Auburn, AL and bring ye joyful tidings....and lo the Corner of Toomer’s doth not rolled, the young Staffords and Lumpkins ran until the day drew long, the evil Tuberville was forced back into his evil hole where he feasts on rodents and ritualistically sacrifices small children to Dumbus the God of Large Ears, and the one that the PlainsmenTigerEagles call Cox sleeps in fits still suffering from horrific dreams in which Gant and Johnson rip, gnaw, and gash at his jersey and his lollipop passes land only in the arms of the glorious Battle.

Behold Dumbus! Notice how he points to his abnormally large ear that can not even be concealed by the helmet. Hide the children.

It truly was a special day for Wifeicek and I....much like our last trip to Auburn in 2002. In fact I am thinking about moving into that stadium permanently as it has been the site of two of the happiest days of my life. I’m thinking about a nice little condo on the 35 where I can see future generations of Bulldogs intercept future generations of mediocre Auburn QBs and dive futuristically into the endzone only to be futuristically flagged by futuristic refs.

Last week ATS: 4-4-1

Overall ATS: 36-28-1

Cincy +6 ½ vs. Rutgers - Listen kids – I’m all about this Rutgers story it’s as fun as a barrel of rusty screwdrivers but this one just screams “let down”. Allow me to make one point though – if Rutgers pulls the unthinkable and goes undefeated, they deserve to be in the National Championship. College football can’t shower WVU and Louisville with gifts of scented soaps and lilacs when they were undefeated and then push Rutgers to the curb like so much volleyball. If Rutgers goes undefeated and doesn’t go to the Nat Champ then we have to revoke the Big East’s status as a BCS conference and make it a mid-major...anything else doesn’t make sense. Consider me off the soapbox.

Wake +2 vs. VT – As one Sasha LadyEagle can attest...Wake is fo’ real. And if Sasha actually reads this (heck even her erstwhile travel partner Jonathan Hart) blog I will do a traditional Irish jig during halftime of the Tech game.

Duke +26 ½ @ Ga Tech- Oh Duke – you’re so lovable. Just keep telling yourself that you don’t mind looking like complete and utter idiots in almost every athletic competition because you dominate in one sport. You Duke football guys are so cute...like a bushel full of soon-to-be slaughtered baby cows going off to the veal factory.

Listen to that crowd roar! Well...listen to Kyle, the Duke fan, roar!

Maryland +7 @ BC – You can’t hold back that Terrapin pride...nor can you hold back the destructive Tsunami (I can make Tsunami references again right? It’s been awhile) that IS the Terp offense....the Terp offense juggernaut smells blood and chances are they could score upward of 17 in this one.

Temple +31 ½ @ Navy – This falls under my “No one should ever be 30+ point underdogs to Navy” rule

Miami -3 @ UVA – What the H is up with this OJ interview? Fox television has effectively reached the all-time low in broadcasting history. Anyone who watches this needs to be punched in the gut and forced to work 35 hours of community service. I’m sure it won’t damage OJ’s kids fragile psyche whatsoever as they are forced to watch their father “hypothetically” tell the world how he “would” have killed their mother. American pop culture! What a feeling.

Oh Nordberg...can't we go back to the way things used to be?

Vandy +8 ½ vs. Tenn – call this the “please God, please Lord almighty make this happen for me” game. How great would it be to see Tennessee lose two in a row to Vandy and watch UT’s “comeback season” result in 4 or 5 losses? It would be as great as tipping over your box of Rainbow Nerds and getting that one GIGANTIC Nerd that dwarfs all the others and sends you into a sugar-induced coma.

Sweet globs of hardened sugar...your spell over me will be my undoing

Ole Miss +27 ½ @ LSU – Dextah MAH-Clus....oh f-it...you know the drill. Ole Miss sucks but I gotst to give it to them one last time.

NC State -4 @ UNC – OH THE PAGEANTRY! No game quite matches the feel of the good ole fashioned backyard brawl between NC State and UNC. Almost as exciting as a 4th viewing of Colin Farrell and Christian Bale in “The New World”. Had to get my Christian Bale knock in... I’m telling you Christian...LIGHTEN UP! You’re a fricking actor! Crack a dang smile!

In a bizarre effort to reach out to ANYONE, UNC adopts a tackling method that can best be described as somewhere betweeen "Dancing With the Stars" and gay porn.

Get your National Football Federation Assocation League on over at Joshua's blogateria

C'mon Baby...Daddy needs a new pair of kicks

2006-11-16T13:36:00.000-05:00

Please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please.

He's my favorite writer, but this doesn't help.

Stay tuned for the college football picks.

Podcast 10 - an examination on why I don't care about Ohio State OR Michigan and will instead watch the Iron Bowl

2006-11-16T10:10:00.000-05:00

Here it is kids...the tenth podcast, chock full of great discussions on OJ, zombies and Mark May viciously attacking Lou Holtz.

Award?

2006-11-14T12:47:00.000-05:00

How in the world has an award been named after Randy Moss?

Shouldn't Mikey make an announcment that he is "withdrawing himself as a candidate to recieve the Thug of the Year award and that he would never want to be affiliated with a reciever that is completely screwing anyone who drafted him in fantasy football this year."

Ummm...no? Isn't this taking the "Thanks for never being any good" thing too far? Why would Richt honor JTIII and not all the seniors? I'm pretty sure Michael Turner, Marquis Elmore, Dale Dixon, etc. are all seniors but they're not guarenteed to start. This game means so much to UGA fans that I have to think that we're going to play with the best available. If JTIII is a true "Damn Good Dawg" he'll tell coach not to bother and that he wants to go out with a win...rather than some playing time.

A promising article in the AJC yesterday regarding recruiting that you can read here. Basically, Rennie Curran (a stud LB that's a strong committment) is saying he's getting a good feeling about Caleb King coming to UGA. King, who was previously the #1 RB in the nation according to rivals.com before his injury, is deciding between UGA, AU, and one other ACC school. We haven't signed a RB for 2007 so he would be all we need in that regard.

The other article talked about how Brookwood's coach said that Rennie Curran is the best defensive player he's ever coached in 30 years. While I have very little respect for high school coach's opinions (I used to live with a guy that said Asher Allen is weak), I hope this dude's opinion or Curran is true.

My Picks. Don't Read if You Want Losers!!!

2006-11-09T18:26:00.000-05:00

Thanks for the hundreds of emails wishing we well in the upcoming fantasy NBA season. To let you know, I've done pretty well so far even though Andrei Kirilenko, my 2nd pick, has been horribly dissapointing so far. Believe me, this is a long season so expect hundreds of updates and blog entries as it progresses.

I did pretty well with my picks last week. 5-3 or samethin...I don't keep track like my counterpart. Speaking of Stanicek, a special thanks to you sir for taking every single good game to cover. I'm left with So. Miss v. Tulane and Rice v. Tulsa to entertain the masses. I swear to God, it's a matter of days before you, Stanistink (hehe), are booted from my blog. On that pleasant note...take the following as gospel:

Louisville (-6) at Rutgers
Let the record show I made this pick before kickoff. Let's get one thing straight. This is Rutgers. Rutgers. More like "What"gers. Or "Ticketswerestillonsalethedayofthebiggestgameintheirschool'shistory"gers. Rutgers is cooked with a capital QW. And, yes, I'm one for Louisville getting to play in the title game after they run the table and have two blowouts on National TV. Holy Guacamole, ESPN just interviewed a 110 year old Rutgers fan that sang SOMETHING into the camera. I couldn't tell if it was the fight song or he was moaning for some Robitussin. I pray someone else saw this.

Purdue (+2 1/2) at Illinois
I've been riding the Illini Train for 3 weeks now and they've covered every time. "Juice" is everything he's cracked up to be and, dare I say, THE ZOOKER IS BACK!!! Illinois is going to win the Big Ten next year and all will rejoice. Wow, I just had a great bite of chicken caesar salad.

High gas prices don't mean a thing to this train...its chuggin along on "Juice"

Georgia Tech (-13) at N.C. State
I've bet against Tech and it's burned me two weeks in a row. Both times I've posted pictures of nerds and they bite me like they would if they found themselves in an arm wrestling match. Well, if I've learned one thing about nerds, it's that you keep betting against them especially if they're favored by more than 10 on the road. I could see N.C. State winning this game...and I hate nerds unless they're of the candy variety.

Georgia (+12) at Auburn
Okaaaayyyyyyy. Ummmmmm. Hmmmm. Go Dawgs? I don't know anymore. Seriously though, there is absolutely zero pressure on us while Auburn is still playing for the SEC West. We should come out loosy goosy and ready to have some darn fun...like I'm gonna have at the wedding I'm going to Saturday. Or, for that matter, the wedding I'm going to be at for the Oklahoma State game next year!!! Nothing says "College Football" like fall weddings.

LOCK 'O DA DANG WEEK:
Texas Tech (+9) at Oklahoma
You're getting the lock of the week early folks. I'm not one for statistics, but here's one I found interesting: Texas Tech is 99-1 against the spread in their last 100 games. Who are these people betting against TT? Probably the same people who say that rock loses 1 out of 3 times in Scissor Paper Rock. Truly moronic.

psst. bet on the hand on the bottom.

Oregon (+8 1/2) at USC
How many cars do you think Nissan has sold as a result of their new ad campaign that involves the dude living in his Altima? My guess is -35,000. In the words of old school Adam Sandler, "WHO ARE THE AD WIZARDS THAT CAME UP WITH THIS ONE???"

Kent (+30 1/2) at Virginia Tech
Who to take, who to take? Kent Ore Va Tech? HAHAHAHA. Wow, I'm on fire...what a great great joke. It's great because I used the name of the running back from Virginia Tech in the sentence. I haven't read comedy like that since Louis Anderson hosted Family Fued. Talk about two guys with messed up bodies. Louis Anderson and Frank Beamer. Who would you take in that ugly contest?

This Bud's for you God for deciding that two men can't reproduce

Chicago (pk) at NY Giants
I'm sorry but there are ZERO good games left to pick so I'm taking a quick skip across the border and stepping on Josh's toes here. And because, before the year's over, I wanted to say this. Sexy Rexy Grossman. Man does that flow like chianti down a funnel.

Podcast 9: Podcast Takes Manhattan...

2006-11-09T13:08:00.000-05:00

Little Scotty Hartman joins us LIVE and in studio...learn it, love it.

Recruitment Update

2006-11-09T13:06:00.000-05:00

Being that Stanicek dubbed me "the recruiting guy" I feel it necessary to update on all things recruiting. Any by all things, I mean sports recruiting...for UGA...and only for basketball or football...but in this post it'll just be basketball. I'm a damn guru.

UGA signed 4 players yesterday to the 2007 class. It's probably the strongest class of this millenium with possibly 2005 being the exception. That year we signed Mike Mercer, Billy Humphrey, Rashaad Singleton, and Terrance Woodbury. What separates this class from 2005 is that all 4 of the recruits are from Georgia. Actually, I'm not sure where Jeremy Jacob is originally from (he's a Hargrave kid) but he was only added to replace Walter Hill who decided to commit to Richt. Hill was from Georgia which makes the 4 original recruits in state.

Granted we haven't had the season we were hoping to see out of Felton, but things are pointing in the right direction...at least recruiting-wise. We're signing some JUCOs that will make an immediate impact (assuming Takais Brown can get off suspension...and that's a big assumption)and we're starting to get a lock on the state for the studs coming out of high school...much like Richt did when he took over for football.

Recovering from the Harrick scandal is no easy task and I can't imagine it's easy to tell a kid's parents that UGA academics are top notch...especially when the kid is coming mostly to play basketball. I tip my cap to Felton for turning the program around in the right direction...hopefully this will start leading to more results ON the court.

Good story about Mike Mercer in the AJC today about him retooling his shot. Sounds like this was a tedious process and any player not interested in believing what the coach was telling him wouldn't have given the effort.

I, for one, can't wait for UGA basketball to start. Won't it be refreshing to lose to Vandy or Kentucky and not feel like you need to stick your hand in a blender to ease the pain?

A solid goal for this year is the NIT and continuing to improve and develop all the young talent. It's going to be an exciting year and I can see us upsetting some of the better teams in conference and at least being competitive in every game.

And, to sum, UGA's going to beat Auburn 24-21. BELIE DAT!!!